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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

read more
January 5, 2023
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
  • Campus Life

    Class of 2026 First-Ever to Feature Diplomats’ Kids from All 193 Nations

    R.E. Stern / October 18, 2022
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  • Campus Life

    Seven Signs Your Roommate’s Parents Definitely Have a Wikipedia Page

    Andrea Zhou and 2 more / October 14, 2022
    read more
  • Campus Life

    First Year Ventures Across the Midway to Get Condom From Office of Safety and Security

    Paella Kouskous / October 12, 2022
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Real Alum Speaks: “O-Week Is the Best Your Life Will Ever Be”

    Hugh Jass ‘18 / October 10, 2022
    read more
  • Arts & Culture

    How Tall Was Jesus Christ? We Asked Every Academic Department

    R.E. Stern and 2 more / October 7, 2022
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Mansueto Declared World’s Largest Gender-Neutral Restroom

    Chicago Shady Dealer / October 6, 2022
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    First Year Likes Resident Head’s Dog a Little Too Much

    Joelle Stephenson / October 5, 2022
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Top 5 Ways to Brag About Your ACT Score

    Andrea Zhou / October 3, 2022
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Move-in-Day Drama: First Year Embarrassed to Have Parents

    Chicago Shady Dealer / September 27, 2022
    read more
  • Arts & Culture

    House Movie Night Just Sex Scene from Mulholland Drive

    Jacob Halabe and 1 more / September 5, 2022
    read more
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