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Wow! This Article Has Nothing to Do With Its Clickbait-y Headline!
The “shared universe” idea has gained widespread popularity in the entertainment industry — that if more films and television series shared continuity, more viewers would watch more content. This idea has brought audiences some well-thought-out, well-executed universes (the Marvel Cinematic Universe is an obvious example), but has also led to flops like the Transformers Extended Universe and even some attempts at connected universes where none should exist.
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New Admissions Essay Prompts To Produce the Worst Roommates You’ll Ever Have
“We were a little disappointed with last year’s haul,” admitted Jim Nondorf, Dean of Admissions. “This time, I know we’ve got it right. These prompts are specially designed to find the people who will ruin your everyday life,” he announced in an email to the student body.
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In Protest of Care Not Cops Strike, UCPD to Go on Strike
By refusing to do their jobs, UCPD hopes to get CNC to stop demanding that they not do their jobs. “It’s foolproof,” Car Searle State, the current Chief of the UCPD, said in a statement to the Dealer.
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The Shady Dealer Interviews the Thrive Slate
Two weeks after the Student Government election, we sat down with Parul Kumar and Natalie Wang of the Thrive slate to determine if they were worthy of our endorsement.
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Oscars Nominate Viewers Like You for Best Actor
Many have lauded your ability to persevere through our host’s lousy jokes and fake interest in the boring shit as you patiently await the actually relevant parts of the ceremony (you know, the actual awards). Many have also highlighted the raw passion of your angry outbursts whenever your top pick gets snubbed, bringing forth so much intensity that you've stirred up the emotions of even your most cynical critics.
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To Combat Talks of a Meatless Future, Undergrads Create Culinary Magazine The Chicago Carnivore, Promise to Uphold Chicago Principles of Slaughtering Cattle by the Millions
Everyone on campus has been talking about the future of meat in our food - Burger King’s Impossible Whopper is now a mainstay item on their menu, Taco Bell serves a Beyond Sausage Breakfast Sandwich, and McDonald’s recently announced it will be offering a McPlant Burger at select locations in the near future.Some students feel that all this talk has been drowning out the voices of meat eaters on campus. In an effort to prop up these marginalized consumers, a group of first and second years have taken the initiative to found a new culinary magazine, The Chicago Carnivore, that is being published online with a monthly print version additionally mailed…
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“Narcolepsy Cookies” Opens on 55th Street to Generally Terrible Reviews
Krispy Kreme’s wildly popular Insomnia Cookies, a staple of college campuses nationwide, received word Saturday that a new sheriff was in town. Or maybe not. Sometimes, at least. He tends to sleep in.
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Administration Partners with Laundry Machines to Steal Socks from Students
Attention: if you or a loved one lives in University Housing and couldn’t find two matching socks this morning, then this message might concern you. Housing Staff were recently busted for installing laundry machines specifically designed to trap socks inside their capsules and retain them when the rest of the load is removed.
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UChicago Student Running From College Council
While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year in The College, has been sprinting across the campus for over a week in hopes of avoiding the election entirely.
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Holsman and Lynch Sumer Finance Internship (Paid) – posted 2 days ago
Have you always wanted to do something charitable to benefit society? Have you dreamed of entering the nonprofit sector to use your skills for good? Me fucking neither. This is finance, BABY!
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