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de’ Medici Family Plans New Restaurant Venture in “Hyde Park, Chicago”
Following their recent exile from the city of Florence, many have assumed that the de’ Medici family have been spending all their time sitting on their massive piles of money as they plot…
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Four startups and products that are guaranteed to fail
Howdy folks! It’s Bob again, ready to provide you with the good, the bad, and the ugly of the startup scene. This newsletter also includes a list of hot new gadgets to check…
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Point: Maybe you need to feed the people? Counterpoint: But what about my golden rotating statue?
Can’t you see that I am trying to build this golden statue? I mean look at it. It’s rotating to face the sun! Has Kim Jong Il done this shit? No, I DID!
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Top 5 Yummy Political Leaders to Consume
Following the crowd’s cannibalism of Johan de Witt, the last Dutch prime minister, many of our esteemed readers wanted further advice on who the most delicious politicians would be. So, per our team…
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Mourning The Molassacre
The list goes on and on, and we are pleased to say that all of our victims have been avenged. First they put us in this shitty tank, and then they didn’t even…
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Ten Tips For A Tremendous Triumphant Assasination
In the nation of guns, guns and more guns, we’ve been falling behind. Three! Three separate assassination attempts, all of which have missed. I, Gun Gunlier, of the American Gun Association, come to…
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Well Intentioned Abolitionist Seen Digging Tunnel from Maine to Canada, Directionally Challenged?
The Dealer was politely confused, as she was digging southward, and tried to ask the source herself. When questioned, Well Intentioned said that she was digging the escape tunnels, and that with the…
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Benedict Arnold Emerges as Favorite to Win “Best Continental Army General of the Year”
As you recall, Arnold was snubbed at the Washies last year over suspicions that his famously Loyalist wife and famously massive debts were beginning to affect his loyalties. Ridiculous! The man is allowed…
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Local Serialized Novel Enters Five Hundred and Seventh Chapter
The main storyline of The Abandoned Plot was resolved in Chapter 43, when the heroine, Genevieve, died clutching the locket she had recently inherited from her long-lost mother. However, Miss Norwich insists that…
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Point: It Is the Best of Times / Counterpoint: It Is the Worst of Times
O, what a time to be alive! There are a few idiots (who pay their friends to explain Adam Smith to them) at the apex of society, while the masses toil for a…
