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In Bid for Diversity, Board Chooses Muppet as Next UChicago President
After many community listening sessions, international searches, and donor solicitations, the Board of Trustees has chosen Paul Alivisatos as the next President of the University of Chicago. His preceding tenure as Vice Chancellor at UC Berkeley has been marked, according to colleagues there, by slapstick humor, unexpected musical numbers, and lack of any kind of chin.
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Conservative Students Silenced by Regenstein Libraryâs 4th floor
Rather than deal with the Soros-backed liberal elites of the media, I decided to turn my cubicle into a soapbox and recite my argument on the fourth floor of the Reg. Having chosen the University of Chicago because of its embrace of free speech, I knew that I wouldnât be #cancelled on this campus.What happened next shocked me.
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You Got Us: Here are Other Maroon Articles We Released Without People Knowing
Yes, we used a psychic to predict The Maroonâs COVID-19 retrospective so that we could publish its headlines first. But did you know we've done that a lot over the years? Here are the remaining headlines in Dealer-published issues which have been pulled word-for-word from The Chicago Maroon, meaning we can no longer take credit for them.
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How Covid and the Summerâs Racial Reckoning Impacted the Way I, Your Friendly Neighborhood Econ Frat Bro, Live My Life and View the World
Staffers at Bon Appétit, a food and lifestyle magazine for people who spend more than $50 dollars on a single jar of cinnamon, suddenly left the magazine because of race stuff, and they left me alone, without any of their comforting weekly videos.
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Rock Salt Flavor Retrospective: Hyde Park, Winter 2020-2021
A note on methodology: in our blind testing, sampling teams tasted salts found on streets and sidewalks alike.
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Exclusive: Top Brass Dispels Rumors of SSA/Crown Remilitarization
Lieutenant Commander Zimmer denies that the school has become complicit in hyper-militarism, stating that the Main Quadrangleâs helipad has been there all along, and that anyone who disagrees will be dishonorably discharged.
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Bummed about a Pandemic Breakup? It May Be an Opportunity for Growth
For better or for worse, human relationships have been altered by the COVID-19 pandemic. While some peopleâs relationships are accelerating as social circles become more limited, others are experiencing a more difficult shift in their love lives, otherwise known as the pandemic breakup. But if you find yourself in the process of a pandemic breakup, donât fret â better times are just around the corner.
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Friendship During COVIDâ19 Requires Communication and Consent
You may or may not have heard of this dude named Jean-Jacques Rousseau, who, according to Wikipedia, âwas a Genevan philosopher, writer, and composer.â I certainly hadnât until I took SOSC while microdosing acid. But let me tell you, dear person with a middle school reading level, he certainly had some interesting things to teach us about COVID-19.
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How UChicagoâs Class of 2025 Navigated an Unprecedented Application Cycle
Applying to college is stressful in the best of times, but for UChicagoâs Class of 2025, the ongoing coronavirus pandemic added an additional level of stress to the process. The Dealer sat down with a few members of the class of 2025 to discuss how they navigated this unprecedented application cycle.
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The Talker Versus the Texter
As the pandemic developed and we settled into remote living for the long haul, social life at UChicago changed significantly. Pretty quickly into the pandemic, two competing social structures had emerged: the Talkers and the Texters. But there's a better way.
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