Campus Life

Top 5 Ways to Brag About Your ACT Score

Have you ever wanted to brag about your beloved ACT score to your peers, but weren’t quite so certain about how to not seem attention-seeking or labeled a snob? Here are the top 5 ways, proven by countless studies and endless trials, on how to bring up your ACT score in any casual conversation (or otherwise)! 

5: On a Date

Yes, you heard us! A date — your first date to be precise. When your date asks about your accomplishments, loudly yell your ACT score. Your friends, who are likely practicing their espionage careers by trailing you, can easily hear you. Additionally, any unsuspecting victims around you will also instantly feel jealous.

4: “Accidentally” Let It Slip Out

Whether your friends are talking about their latest PHSC assignments or even ancient, perilous dinosaurs, “accidentally” blurt out the number that you received on your ACT. Once questioned about it, you may dramatically profess that you did not mean to say it out loud before explaining that it was the score you received on the ACT. We suggest that you take several acting classes before attempting this method. 

3: Receive a Head Wound

As clumsy human beings, all of us have tripped over our own feet before. Therefore, it should be no shock when you hit a lamppost or fall over unexpectedly. Ensure that your head hits the ground. When your friends quickly question you about how you’re feeling, stare into nothingness and robotically state your ACT score. 

Disclaimer: The Dealer is not responsible for any injuries that may result from this method.

2: Impersonation

Simply buy a disguise from the nearest store. Alternatively, raid your roommate’s closet. Then, enter the conversation, use a voice-changer, and calmly inform the group that you (make sure to say your name) received a [insert score] on the ACT. Quickly exit the conversation before they notice that it is you. We suggest hiring a getaway driver if in person.

1: Purchase a Personal Ad from The Chicago Shady Dealer

The Chicago Shady Dealer is pleased to announce that we will publish your ACT score attached with your name to this popular paper! This offer stands indefinitely as a social litmus test.

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Andrea Zhou — a self-proclaimed hot chocolate fanatic — is one of our beloved staff writers as well as a deputy copy editor. She has written and edited a number of articles for The Shady Dealer, and aspires to finish college with over a hundred articles under her name.