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Masthead

Editors in Chief

Kelly Lo

R.E Stern

Managing Editor

Kate Kaplin

Deputy Managing Editor

Andre Dang

Layout Editor

Abby Beckler

Copy Editors

Jacob Halabe

Maisie Thompson

Merrin Seegers

Photo Editor

Emilio Rosas Linhard

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected]

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

    Jacob Halabe / November 30, 2022

    In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

    read more
  • Politics

    Opening for Prime Minister Position Posted on Handshake

    Jacob Halabe / October 21, 2022

    “For the next Prime Minister, the party wanted someone who was an outsider, who could talk at length on a subject without actually saying anything, and who could work for hours on a…

    read more
  • Arts & Culture

    House Movie Night Just Sex Scene from Mulholland Drive

    Jacob Halabe / September 5, 2022

    “I like to think that Behar house has always appreciated the highest class of film, and as such, we wanted to pick something that would engage our residents."

    read more
  • Campus Life

    After Years of Confusion, PSI Decides to Just Become a Frat

    Jacob Halabe / August 12, 2022

    The new frat, officially named “PSI, no, not that one”, will begin recruiting in April in honor of Earth Day.

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer,  Favorites

    UChicago Clarifies That Indoor Mask Policy Does Not Apply to Hot People

    Jacob Halabe / October 25, 2021

    This week, the UChicago Student Wellness Center released a statement clarifying that the university’s indoor mask policy did not apply to people who are “hella cute.” “After carefully reviewing the current medical situation…

    read more

Read It and Weep

  • North Korea Wins Unprecedented 18th World Cup
  • Struggling in a Toxic Relationship? Try Being More Toxic
  • Point: I Wanna Step on the Reynolds Club Seal/ Counterpoint: I Want the Reynolds Club Seal to Step on Me
  • Op-Ed: Hey Stacy, Bring Your Mom to the Party Tomorrow
  • Point: I Can Fix Him/ Counterpoint: I Can Make Him Worse
  • BTS Members Disband for Good After Finding Their True Passion in the Military
  • Point: Hey Guys! Watch Me Do an Ollie on My Skateboard!/ Counterpoint: Uh Oh!
  • Oh Boys! Kevin Abstract Debuts Completely New Boy Band Also Called Brockhampton
  • MLA Edition 10 – 2022 Update
  • “Shut the Door on Your Ex” and Other Advice From Door Etiquette for Dummies

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