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How To Get This Quarter’s Existential Crisis Over With Early
As winter quarter begins and your courses kick into high gear, it's once again time to face the fact that at some point between now and finals, you’ll inevitably break down. But can you really risk an existential crisis during finals week? Here are five ways to get this quarter’s mental breakdown out of your way before the shit hits the fan.
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Survey: Math Department Unaware Gerald Ford No Longer President
A full 93% of the department’s members were unable to correctly identify the outgoing President as Donald Trump, or the incoming President as Joe Biden. In fact, a plurality of respondents (36%) listed Gerald Ford as the nation’s leader, with George H.W. Bush (21%), Dwight D. Eisenhower (18%), and Robert Zimmer (9%) following closely thereafter.
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The Dealer’s Georgia Runoff Election Forecasts
Today, the Dealer is proud to release our official county-by-county interactive forecasts of the 2021 Georgia runoff elections for the U.S. Senate. This makes us one of the only data journalism sites willing to predict possible outcomes for Election Day on Tuesday, as most of our peers, including FiveThirtyEight, haven't touched this one.
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How to Write the Republic Using Your Excess Plastic Silverware
If you live on-campus and eat at the dining halls, you've probably got at least a few dozen plastic knives and spoons, left over from meals, burning a hole in your pocket right now. Since UChicago can't be bothered to stop giving us this unnecessary plastic waste, it's up to us to think up ways to put them to good use. Like writing out the entire 'Republic'.
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Math Department Discovers New Highest Number
A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest number, 87381.
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6 Cute Dogs Who Can’t Understand Why the Election is Important
If you’re reading this, you’re most likely a human, cursed with the ability to comprehend phrases like “electoral college” or “voter suppression.” Here are six cute dogs who, unlike you, don’t have to pay attention to politics during its most stressful month in recent memory.
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Letter: There’s Always Spring Quarter
We know that two quarters in a row of distance learning isn't how you planned to start your time in college. You wanted to spend Orientation Week with several dozen of your newest friends and an ungodly amount of alcohol, not on a Zoom call from your childhood twin bed. You were supposed to be sitting at a cubicle in the Reg when you got your first failing grade on a paper. You wanted to make friends that you knew for certain were not golden retrievers who learned to type.
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Class of 2024 First-Ever Not to Know Which Direction Is North
HYDE PARK, BUT NOT REALLY – For the first time in its history, the majority of the incoming class at the University of Chicago could not determine which way was north on a map of Hyde Park, the University’s College Programming Office announced Monday. Incoming first years took the survey which produced this insight as part of Orientation Week, which in 2020 became virtual due to the COVID-19 pandemic. The College Programming Office said in a statement that it had offered the survey to “collect evidence that despite obvious challenges, Orientation Week was proceeding successfully.” However, it found none; other findings from the survey are similarly disturbing, if unsurprising. Nearly…
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It’s Your God-Given Right to Overreact to the FiveThirtyEight Election Forecast
With political candidates in today’s 24-hour news cycle, it’s less “what have you done for me?” and more “what have you done for me lately?” Who cares which political candidate is best for the country when you could know which political candidate had the best day yesterday? This useful trend has led obsessing over minor daily updates to the FiveThirtyEight election forecast to become a time-honored tradition. Come election season, the site would become a mecca for people looking for a daily dose of anger or schadenfreude. Turns out driving people insane is pretty lucrative . Who knew? The design for this year’s FiveThirtyEight forecast interface, however, takes pains to…
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8=Democracy
The Shady Dealer Presents Our Georgia Runoff Election Forecasts Interactiveby R.E. Stern It’s Your God-Given Right to Overreact to the FiveThirtyEight Election Forecast Interactiveby R.E. Stern Ad The 2020 Election Explained in Three Charts Analysisby Cameron Chang Wins Presidency Newsby the Chicago Shady Dealer FiveThirtyEight Noticed Us Newsby Zakwan Khan Fuck It, We’re Launching a Data Journalism Site Newsby the Chicago Shady Dealer Ad In 2020, Which Issues are UChicago Students Most Concerned About? Analysisby Kate Kaplin We Asked Each State’s Residents Who They Were Voting For. Here’s What They Told Us. Interactiveby Ishaan Singh Trump Decries Identity Politics in Last-ditch Appeal to Balding Blue-collar Midwestern White Men Aged 40-65…
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