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“The More I See The Kendrick Lamar Halftime Show, The More I Like It!” Says My Aunt Laura
The post featured a Facebook avatar of Laura doing two thumbs up with a cornfield in the background. Some have speculated that the cornfield is a nod to her hometown of Corn City.
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Joe Rogan to Star as Catherine Earnshaw in New Wuthering Heights Adaptation
Fans of the book have praised the casting of Rogan, 57, especially following the leakage of set photos showing Rogan frolicking on the moors with Jacob Elordi’s Heathcliff.
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People Magazine Reports No Celebrities Have Drama This Week
"Celebrities have altogether stopped cheating on each other, getting caught in embarrassing moments with paparazzi, or even making mildly controversial clothing choices on the red carpet."
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Five Things to Spend Your Money on Besides Blu-ray Copies of Ghost Rider 2
Unfortunately, all those boxes of Blu-ray can fill up your attic shockingly fast.
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Creative Writing Department Announces New Specialization in Shitty New Adult Novels
Required classes include: ‘the half-bed trope: even better than one bed!’, ‘consent and how to circumvent it’, ‘why write characters when you can sculpt a red flag out of clay and pray to…
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Study Finds Bite Magazine Not Edible
A new report from the Journal of the Human Dietary, found that UChicago’s most prominent culinary magazine is not edible. The study, published last Wednesday, used over 300 “community testers.” The experiment was…
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Golden Retriever Boys Out, Indeterminate Terrier Mix Boys In Says New Poll
Indeterminate terrier mix boys led the polls, closely followed by Doberman-Chihuahua boys. “I’m so sick of the weaponized incompetence. Why are you in Physics for Future Presidents? You’re literally a physics major!?” said…
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Op-Ed: Heartbreaking! Phoebe Bridgers Broke up With Her Boyfriend, Also on a Separate Note, My Parents’ House Is Being Foreclosed on and We Don’t Have a Home
Also, when I asked my dad about his debt, he told me a “dumb little girl like me wouldn’t understand,” and then said some unsavory things about my mom.
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Harry Styles Showcases New Gender-Defying Steelhead Trout Dress
Another said “I think it was supposed to be an environmental statement or something, but I think he just wanted an excuse to wear fish guts."
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Ron Desantis Slams “Gay Ass” Rainbow Fish Book
“I think it’s disgusting that our kids are reading about a limp-wristed fish on the taxpayer’s dime,” DeSantis stated.
