The Chicago Shady Dealer
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions

Masthead

Editors in Chief

Kelly Lo

R.E Stern

Managing Editor

Kate Kaplin

Deputy Managing Editor

Andre Dang

Layout Editor

Abby Beckler

Copy Editors

Jacob Halabe

Maisie Thompson

Merrin Seegers

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected]

  • Arts & Culture,  Campus Life

    3 Sex Poems from My Poetry Workshop That Scream “I’m a Virgin”

    Kelvin Lototoaster / January 27, 2022

    When I signed up for this poetry workshop, I had no idea that the people in it would be so horny — or so repressed. Somehow, every single poem submitted has been explicitly…

    read more
  • Arts & Culture

    Oscars Nominate Viewers Like You for Best Actor

    Henry Mackall / April 26, 2021

    Many have lauded your ability to persevere through our host’s lousy jokes and fake interest in the boring shit as you patiently await the actually relevant parts of the ceremony (you know, the…

    read more
  • Arts & Culture,  Campus Life

    UChicago to be Film Location for New ‘Community’ Documentary

    Dan Harmon's Secretary / November 18, 2020

    Universal Pictures has just announced plans to release a Community Documentary in early 2023. The President of Universal Pictures, Peter Cramer, said his team made plans to the put the movie in production…

    read more
  • Arts & Culture

    Nobody Ever Talks About How Great John Wilkes Booth Was as King Lear

    Anna Katz / November 15, 2020

    In our modern political climate, we tend to judge the figures of our history through one defining action. For Abraham Lincoln, that would be the Emancipation Proclamation. For Thomas Jefferson, the Declaration of…

    read more
  • Arts & Culture

    I Broke My Pencil and Now I’m Sad I Can’t Fix It.

    Kate Kaplin / October 19, 2020

    That’s the title I am ashamed to declare I broke my pencil

    read more
  • Arts & Culture

    5 Takeaways from Oscar the Grouch’s New Album: When I Get Home, to My Trash Can

    / May 16, 2019

    In true chaos-Muppet fashion, Oscar the Grouch revealed only a small handful of clues about his new album, When I Get Home, to My Trash Can, ahead of its arrival yesterday in the dead…

    read more
  • Arts & Culture,  Campus Life

    Dean Boyer’s Cover Band to Play Seals and Crofts’ “Summer Breeze” on Endless Loop in the MAB Beer Garden

    / May 16, 2019

    Ahead of announcing this year’s Summer Breeze lineup, MAB has revealed that Dean Boyer’s Seals and Crofts cover band will be headlining the beer garden, exclusively playing their hit “Summer Breeze” on repeat…

    read more

Read It and Weep

  • Allen Sanderson Becomes Sociologist by Light of Full Moon
  • After Years of Confusion, PSI Decides to Just Become a Frat
  • Wanna Feel Better About Politics? Donate to These 4 Inspirational Democrats Running in Districts They Have No Chance Whatsoever of Winning
  • Woodlawn Announces Intramural Cockfighting League to Boost House Culture
  • Pope Francis Considering a 2024 Bid for Dalai Lama
  • Why is the Trolley Problem On My Econ P-Set, and What Did Y’all Get?
  • MAB Bans Non-Black Concertgoers from Saying N-Word at Summer Breeze, Causes Stir
  • Breaking: Your New Student Government
  • Sexy Jesus & Apoptles Rumble Time!!!
  • Four Complaints I Would Have About UChi-Con – If I Went, Which I Definitely Didn’t

Chicago Shady Dealer

  • Home
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions

Archives

Categories

For Writers

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
© 2022 Chicago Shady Dealer
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
Ashe Theme by WP Royal.