Arts & Culture

House Movie Night Just Sex Scene from Mulholland Drive

The film selection for house movie nights has always been a challenge. It is nearly impossible to balance the movie preferences of different people. However, it appears one house reached a proposition they thought would work for everyone. Last Saturday from 9:00 pm to 9:02 pm, Behar House decided to screen only the sex scene from Mulholland Drive.

This move has raised a few eyebrows. “The thing is, people weren’t really mad about the idea of just playing a sex scene, they were just angry that their sex scene was not chosen,” said the house council president Patricia Wu. “I don’t really get why everyone is just ok with this, but I work to serve, I guess.”

Behar resident Buzz Fowles spoke on the issue, saying, “I would have preferred the threesome scene from Alfonso Cuarón’s 2001 masterpiece Y Tu Mamá También. Cuaron shoots the actors’ bodies with a sensuality that I think Mulholland Drive sorely lacks.” Other residents at Behar house have voiced similar concerns, citing vastly differing opinions on which sex scenes are actually worth watching.

The Behar house Birthday Czar, Joshua Sanchez, cited the reason for this decision: “I like to think that Behar house has always appreciated the highest class of film, and as such, we wanted to pick something that would engage our residents. I am certain that our record number of members on Saturday was due to this fact.”

A survey conducted by the Dealer revealed a broad range of preferred choices for the next house movie night, with 70% being various sex scenes, and 30% being Pixar’s Up.

The RA’s have also announced their decision to play exactly 2 minutes and 30 seconds of the “Love Scene” from Call Me by Your Name. They have also decided to provide peaches as a healthy snack.

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Jacob Halabe is a pseudonym of famously reclusive author JD Salinger. Despite reports that he died in 2010, Salinger is actually alive and well, posing as a third year History major at the University of Chicago. Jacob (ie: Salinger) is a big fan of The Shady Dealer and also serves as a co-copy editor. When not penning satire, you can find him working on his forthcoming novel The Catcher in the Rye 2: This Time It's Personal

[Note: He assumes no legal liability if -- upon reading this bio -- you are filled with the uncontrollable urge to kill John Lennon]