Masthead

Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Our Greatest Hits

Chicago Shady Dealer

+ postsBio

Chicago Shady Dealer
Mini-Crossword
Chicago Shady Dealer
Disgusting Mouse Cartoon Repulses Nation
Chicago Shady Dealer
Point: Your Country’s Science Education is Lacking; Counterpoint: WE GOT THE MOON FIRST CRY ABOUT IT
Chicago Shady Dealer
U.S. Declares Victory in Cold War as Bush Shellacs Gorbachev in Potato Sack Race

Read It and Weep

Twelve Ways to React When Someone Says Something You Disagree With in Class
Analyzing Melina Hale’s Welcome Video for Avant-Garde Sensibilities
It’s Springtime! Flowers to Sniff, Poke, and Potentially Buy
Duo Authentication Requires New Blood, Urine, and STD Test Sample to Verify Identity; Most People Fail
Maroon Wins Pulitzer Prize for “Courageous” Reporting on Reg Bathroom Closure
Odyssey Scholars Program replaced by David Rubenstein Sugar Baby Program
An Open Letter to My Professors: If Congress Can Take a Vacation When They Have Work to Do, Why Can’t I?
Point: Dining halls should strive to incorporate healthier cereals. Counterpoint: You can pry the Lucky Charms out of my cold, dead hands, bitch!
President Trump Declared Dead after Not Posting on Truth Social for 5 Seconds
Sorry! The Required Class for Your Major is Only Available to Fourth-Years with at Least Two Dead Parents.

Chicago Shady Dealer

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