A group of expert scientists using audio equipment, strict observance, and double blind studies have confirmed that the whistling we first reported on only a few minutes ago is indeed getting steadily closer. 

As they say, what is a block if not something to stand on?

“The once-sacrosanct standards of academic rigor at this university have catastrophically declined. I made several trivial blunders while formulating my final essay, and yet I still received an exemplary grade in Power.”

Participants will be allowed to say racial —and non-racial—slurs, gain discounted access to frats, and receive exclusive entry extra SOSC classes as part of the Free Expression+ Core.

There have been reports of a copy editor selling solutions to MATH 15300 problem sets, an editor-in-chief selling amphetamines to underage students, and a deputy layout editor profiting from smuggling Russian gas into…

The Deep State agenda, which takes specific interest in UChicago (why do you think UCPD is so big?), is trying to silence me from accessing Crerar.

In a startling upset, The Chicago Shady Dealer has called the 2024 Presidential Election for Green Party candidate Jill Stein.

Recent tactics to encourage voting from UChiVotes include cornering first-year students until they check their voting location, borrowing UCPD riot gear to force people into the Reynolds Club during early voting, and switching…

“So we’re going to torture people a little, really it’s not so bad, waterboarding or cigarettes or with the electrodes, things of that nature, you have–who do you have–Sleepy Joe, remember him? Lightly…