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The Shady Dealer Interviews the Thrive Slate
Two weeks after the Student Government election, we sat down with Parul Kumar and Natalie Wang of the Thrive slate to determine if they were worthy of our endorsement.
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UChicago Student Running From College Council
While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year in The College, has been sprinting across the campus for over a week in hopes of avoiding the election entirely.
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On His Last Night, Prince Phillip Spotted Playing Pong, Hitting It Off with the Bros at AEPI
Anonymous tipsters claim that Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh, was seen at AEPI, a University of Chicago fraternity, during his last night on Earth. He is survived by a crumbling homeland Greek economy, good friend Lil Nas X, and his beloved cousin, Queen Elizabeth II.
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Frats Release Statement: “Hey Look, A Cool Bird!”
In the wake of the University’s announcement that campus would be entering a second lockdown of the quarter, a group of UChicago fraternities released a statement.
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Spring Break to be Renamed ‘Kenneth C. Griffin Week of March 21st’
“I hope this new name will remind students that fun is just an obstacle towards achieving their goals,” Griffin told the Dealer. “I also have high hopes that the name will go a long way towards reminding UChicago students that I have a shitload of cash.”
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Admin Introduces Reading Hour Every Week That Accumulates Into One Reading Day
"The committee felt that students should be motivated to study for finals before they actually learn the material that will be on their finals, and if you don't like it fuck you your GPA is too low to transfer anyway," Lee's email finished.
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You Got Us: Here are Other Maroon Articles We Released Without People Knowing
Yes, we used a psychic to predict The Maroon’s COVID-19 retrospective so that we could publish its headlines first. But did you know we've done that a lot over the years? Here are the remaining headlines in Dealer-published issues which have been pulled word-for-word from The Chicago Maroon, meaning we can no longer take credit for them.
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How UChicago’s Class of 2025 Navigated an Unprecedented Application Cycle
Applying to college is stressful in the best of times, but for UChicago’s Class of 2025, the ongoing coronavirus pandemic added an additional level of stress to the process. The Dealer sat down with a few members of the class of 2025 to discuss how they navigated this unprecedented application cycle.
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During Year of Coronavirus, Local Businesses Forced to Adapt
Small businesses face a landscape forever altered as the first wave of economic disruption from the pandemic settles. To get a sense of how this is impacting our local businesses, the Dealer talked to several of Hyde Park’s best to see how they’re adapting to the pandemic.
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$100 Million and a Million Tests: How The NFL Played Throughout a Pandemic
The NFL spent an exorbitant amount of time and money to hold in-person activities and games in the months leading up to the season, culminating in the super bowl. If something as meaningless as football can do it, why can't UChicago?
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