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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

read more
November 30, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

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January 5, 2023
  • Campus Life

    Boyer Insists Bite Mark is “Nothing to Worry About,” Proposes Brains in Dining Hall

    Nick Venegas / October 31, 2022
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Meet the One Student Who Actually Got Suspended by UChicago

    Aman Majumdar / October 28, 2022
    read more
  • Arts & Culture

    Dealer Investigates: How Many 4pm Cigarettes Outside the Reg Does It Take to Write The Great American Novel?

    Audrey Leonard / October 27, 2022
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Point: Pee in Your Roommate’s Bed. Counterpoint: Pee in Their Shoes Instead.

    Kasper Kropotkin and 1 more / October 26, 2022
    read more
  • Campus Life

    “Don’t Go Outside:” UCPD Releases Official Transportation Policy for First Years

    Lena Birkholz / October 25, 2022
    read more
  • Campus Life

    “New Dean” Added to Scav List

    Pascal Knowles / October 24, 2022
    read more
  • Politics

    Opening for Prime Minister Position Posted on Handshake

    Jacob Halabe / October 21, 2022
    read more
  • Politics

    Value of Pound Drops Drastically in Comparison to Maroon Dollar

    Griffin Bonnin Jones / October 21, 2022
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Op-Ed: Please Wear Deodorant

    Joelle Stephenson / October 20, 2022
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Meet The Six People You’ll Throw Up On in College

    Andre Dang and 2 more / October 19, 2022
    read more
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