-
The Dealer’s Georgia Runoff Election Forecasts
Today, the Dealer is proud to release our official county-by-county interactive forecasts of the 2021 Georgia runoff elections for the U.S. Senate. This makes us one of the only data journalism sites willing…
-
“Come to Us, O Ancient One, Seize Your Birthright” Chant Hooded CNN Producers, Summoning Anderson Cooper for NYE Show
New York, N.Y. — As 2020 comes to a close, network executives all across New York are racking their tiny brains trying to figure out how to announce the end of a truly…
-
Every Time You Say “Happy Holidays” Instead of “Merry Christmas”, Something Bad Happens, But We’re Not Sure What
During the current holiday season, the usual ornery voices criticizing the use of the phrase “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” have resurfaced. But such criticism has gone on for long enough that…
-
-
OP- ED: What am I Thankful for? Being Hot
When I was a kid, my grandmother would ask me to write down what I was thankful for each year. In the past, I have been thankful for my friends and my family,…
-
How to Make the Perfect Un-mashed Potatoes for Thanksgiving
Step 1: Boil a pot of salted water. When the water is brought to a boil add your 8 or 9 potatoes and let them bathe for 15 minutes. After the 15 minutes…
-
UChicago Grad Now Boss of his Former High School Bully
“It’s so crazy! It’s just like that old saying: don’t bully the nerd cause they might grow up to be your boss. But hey, don’t get me wrong! I’m not working these guys…
-
How to Write the Republic Using Your Excess Plastic Silverware
If you live on-campus and eat at the dining halls, you've probably got at least a few dozen plastic knives and spoons, left over from meals, burning a hole in your pocket right…
-
University to Build Gleaming Multibillion Dollar Mega-Structure over Washington Park
The University of Chicago today announced new construction plans in an area from 51st to 60th and from S. MLK Dr to S. Cottage Grove Ave-- which is, purely coincidentally, the entirety of…
-
Conspiracy Theory: First Years Aren’t Real
In recent news, the life (of the mind) at the University of Chicago has been brought to a startling halt after rumors began circulating that Administration forwent accepting ACTUAL students for the class…
