• MEETING INFO: Thursdays, 6 pm, Harper 145.
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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

read more
January 5, 2023
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

read more
November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

read more
November 30, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

read more
December 6, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
  • Campus Life

    UChicago Course Catalog Includes New Devil’s Advocate Class

    Justin Bachner / February 22, 2023
    read more
  • Arts & Culture

    Op-Ed: I Just Completed This Century’s Mona Lisa in the 1st Floor Harper Women’s Bathrooms

    Anonymous / February 21, 2023
    read more
  • Politics

    Kevin McCarthy Secures College Council Speakership After 14 Ballots

    Chicago Shady Dealer Newsdesk / February 20, 2023
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Why Unions Are Bad Actually (Not Sponsored by University of Chicago)

    Paul A. Realperson / February 17, 2023
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Top Twenty Things on Other People’s Laptops You Can Pay Attention to Instead of Your Bio Topics Lecture

    Lena Birkholz / February 16, 2023
    read more
  • Sex and Love

    Top Ten Most Romantic Days in February

    Barnabas Spunk / February 16, 2023
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Heartbreaking! DU Invested Entire Fund Into FTX

    Andre Dang and 1 more / February 14, 2023
    read more
  • Literary Happenings

    How to Read Chicago Shady Dealer Headlines Like a Horoscope

    The Dealer's Psychic On Call / February 13, 2023
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Dean Boyer Snubbed by Popular Clique of Ivy League Provosts

    Jacob Halabe / February 10, 2023
    read more
  • World Affairs

    Northwestern Spy Balloon Spotted over UChicago Campus

    Chicago Shady Dealer Newsdesk / February 9, 2023
    read more
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