Point: Maybe you need to feed the people? Counterpoint: But what about my golden rotating statue?
AŞGABAT – 1998
Point: Our most esteemed leader, father of the Turkmen People and President for Life, I am humbly bowing in front of you to pay attention to the desolate conditions people in rural Turkmenistan live in. While we all can marvel at the wonders that your esteemed leadership has built in our beloved capital, Aşgabat, I need to bring to your attention that half of this country’s population lives in rural areas. Despite having some of the world’s greatest reserves such as oil, natural gas, and cotton, the profits obtained mysteriously disappear instead of improving the infrastructure, healthcare, and/or education of the rural people. Our dear Leader, please heed our cries and help the people of the Turkmen countryside.
Counterpoint: Can’t you see that I am trying to build this golden statue? I mean look at it. It’s rotating to face the sun! Has Kim Jong Il done this shit? No, I DID! You say that we must improve the infrastructure of the rural areas. But consider this: Will I, I mean, OUR COUNTRY, get a Guinness World Record by putting asphalt on some roads? No! But guess what will bring the awards? My golden statue! It’s so big and sits on top of this beautiful monument praising our country’s commitment to neutrality. Besides, I have more important things to do, like, I don’t know, renaming the Turkmen word for bread to my mother’s name and looking at this sexy horse. (Shush, my beloved Akhal, your neighs shall be pleased soon). Also, check out my fire book! It’s green, it has important words (by me, of course), and if you cannot recite a chapter of it by heart, I will personally execute you! Isn’t it wonderful? Our country shall be blessed by me to be great!
Byline: Point: A Concerned Citizen, Counterpoint: Saparmyrat Nyýazow, Father of the Turkmen People and President for Life of Turkmenistan
