February. It is not only one of the first months of the year, it is also one of the most romantic. But while an erotic glow illuminates us all throughout the entirety of this special month, all days are not created equal. So without further ado, here are the top ten most romantic days in February.
- February 17
This one needs no explanation. Every February 17, you can just tell that everyone you meet is practically bursting with pent-up sexual frustration. Maybe it’s because they’re thinking about how Saint Patrick’s Day is just one month away. Maybe it’s because they’re recalling Napoleon’s victory in the Battle of Mormant. Maybe they just feel a certain way about the number 17. Whatever the reason, this is easily in the top 35% of days in February from the standpoint of romance.
- February 23
At 7:23 pm on February 23, 1848, former President John Quincy Adams died in the Speaker’s Room of the Capitol Building after suffering a cerebral hemorrhage and collapsing on the floor of the House of Representatives two days earlier while protesting a vote to honor veterans of the Mexican-American War. His wife was at his side in his final moments, but it’s the presence of a young congressman named Abraham Lincoln–and the boundless possibilities for gay presidential fanfiction–that make this such a monumentally romantic event.
- February 6
My uncle Fred’s birthday is February 6.
- February 27
In 2008, 23 states and territories held their Democratic primaries or caucuses as part of Super Tuesday on February 5, which saw Barack Obama win 847 delegates, just a hair’s breadth more than Hillary Clinton’s 834. I just know some absolutely crazy shit was happening at those election watch parties.
- February 14
I know what you’re thinking: how can February 14, the anniversary of the Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre of 1929, in which seven associates of Bugs Moran’s North Side Gang were shot dead by unidentified assailants presumed to be working for Al Capone, possibly rank among the top ten most romantic days in February? Admittedly, it does lose some points on that account, but it gains them back and then some for being the birthday of America’s sweetheart, Carl Bernstein. What’s sexier than breaking the Watergate story?
- February 12
February 12 is Abraham Lincoln’s birthday. Oh to be one of the logs in his cabin…
- February 29
February 29 only comes every 1,461 days, and as such it is a very special day, and special things are by nature romantic. Imagine you started dating someone on February 29. You would have four years to think up the ideal anniversary gift, and since you wouldn’t procrastinate for a single moment during that time, it would wind up being the best anniversary gift anyone had ever received. That’s not only math, it’s also love.
- February 2
I’m not prepared to confront the feelings groundhogs stir up inside me so we’ll promptly move on to the next day on the list.
- February 27
On February 27, 1860, Abraham Lincoln gave a speech at Cooper Union which helped propel him to the presidency. It was more than 7,000 words long but if I were there, I wouldn’t have been able to process a single one of them, as I would become too inflamed by the sound of his voice, by the sight of his as yet beardless and alluringly gaunt face, and by the thought of his well-toned arms grasping me tightly yet lovingly, as a fisherman well-acquainted with the sea grasps his favorite fishing rod when the line grows taut.
- February 11
On February 11 five years ago I caught a stink bug in a jar. The stink bug was really big and when we put it on a ruler, it turned out it was almost an inch and a half long. It was awesome.