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Field Report from the Egyptian Bureau
I spiral down over the wheat field. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. The parched fields below glow gold in the evening light while the Nile sparkles in the distance. The evening is cool and still as my brethren and I begin our divine mission. My mandibles clack. I am ready. The wheat is tough and sun-dried from the earlier plagues, but I feel the divine strength of the Lord fortify my mouth parts. I tear through the stalks as the peasants look on in horror. We decimate field after field, laying waste to the land. The Lord my god looks down and sees that my…
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Climate Change PSA: Reindeer Can Fly, But They Sure as Hell Can’t Swim
By Breck Radulovic Dec. 5, 2018 Baby, it’s cold outside! But not for much longer. Climate change is reaching the North Pole, and it’s not looking good for Santa’s reindeer. You’ve likely read about rising global temperatures melting the polar ice caps. While Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen are total aces in the sky, they sure as hell can’t swim. Looks like we better start rewriting that song: “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, you’ll go drown in history! (Like the Lusitania!)” Do you hear what I hear? It’s the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) calling, and they have this to say: “Donner better change his name to…
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