• MEETING INFO: Thursdays, 6 pm, Harper 145.
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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

read more
December 6, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

read more
November 16, 2020
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

read more
January 5, 2023
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

read more
November 30, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

read more
April 19, 2021
  • Campus Life

    Op-Ed: Hey Stacy, Bring Your Mom to the Party Tomorrow

    Andre Dang and 1 more / January 24, 2023
    read more
  • Sex and Love

    Point: I Can Fix Him/ Counterpoint: I Can Make Him Worse

    Pascal Knowles and 1 more / January 23, 2023
    read more
  • Arts & Culture

    BTS Members Disband for Good After Finding Their True Passion in the Military

    Aidan Jones / January 19, 2023
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Point: Hey Guys! Watch Me Do an Ollie on My Skateboard!/ Counterpoint: Uh Oh!

    Tyler McFlash / January 18, 2023
    read more
  • Arts & Culture

    Oh Boys! Kevin Abstract Debuts Completely New Boy Band Also Called Brockhampton

    Raphael Ambrösius Cousteau / January 17, 2023
    read more
  • Literary Happenings

    MLA Edition 10 – 2022 Update

    Andrea Zhou / January 10, 2023
    read more
  • Campus Life

    “Shut the Door on Your Ex” and Other Advice From Door Etiquette for Dummies

    Emily Lamppost / January 9, 2023
    read more
  • Campus Life

    University Introduces Mandatory ‘Cool’ Nicknames for Places on Campus

    Michelle Rasmussen / January 6, 2023
    read more
  • Campus Life,  Favorites

    Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

    Andre Dang and 1 more / January 5, 2023
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Top 5 Things That I Just Found in Your Backpack

    Maisie Thompson / January 4, 2023
    read more
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