The Chicago Shady Dealer
  • Home
  • Our Work
  • About
  • Previous Issues
  • Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Contact
  • Home
  • Our Work
  • About
  • Previous Issues
  • Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Contact

Masthead

Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

read more
April 19, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

read more
December 6, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

read more
November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

read more
October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

read more
January 5, 2023
  • Frustrated boy next to chalk board.
    Campus Life

    Op-Ed: I Was Let Down By UChicago’s Frivolous Academic Attitude

    Dana Lowitt / November 16, 2023
    read more
  • Arts & Culture

    Golden Retriever Boys Out, Indeterminate Terrier Mix Boys In Says New Poll

    Myla Keigh / November 15, 2023
    read more
  • Campus Life

    RH’s Dog Overwhelmed From the Weight of Every Student’s Mental Well-Being

    Katherine Reynolds / November 14, 2023
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer,  Off-Campus Life

    University Initiates Book Drive for Local Elementary School

    William Wang / November 14, 2023
    read more
  • Campus Life,  Chicago Shady Dealer

    Disaster Strikes! Kid You Hate Still Goes Here

    Jackson Slipock / November 13, 2023
    read more
  • Politics

    Classmates Who Voted Kevin McCarthy “Most Likely to Succeed” Express Chagrin

    Griffin Bonnin Jones / November 13, 2023
    read more
  • Campus Life

    UCPD Arrests Peaceful Protesters: “The ‘Free Speech’ Thing Stops After 5:30”

    Chicago Shady Dealer / November 12, 2023
    read more
  • Campus Life

    10 Things to Say When Someone Asks What You Did This Summer

    Maisie Thompson / November 8, 2023
    read more
  • Campus Life,  Lifestyle

    “Record-breaking” O-Mance Lasts an Astonishing 2 Weeks

    Jacob Halabe / November 7, 2023
    read more
  • Lifestyle

    7 Things to Post on Your Insta Story to Let Your High School Friends Know You Go to Alcohol Parties Now

    Maisie Thompson and 2 more / November 7, 2023
    read more
3132333435

Also in the News...

Mark Carney Responds to U.S. Threats: “You like that, motherfucker.”

Trump Pledges Two New Transformers to Israeli Defense

Democrat Donkey Accidentally Kicks Itself in the Balls

German AfD Party Promises Not to Reanimate A Certain Austrian Corpse

Chicago Shady Dealer

  • Home
  • Our Work
  • About
  • Previous Issues
  • Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Contact

Categories

Archives

For Writers

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
© 2026 Chicago Shady Dealer
Ashe Theme by WP Royal.