• MEETING INFO: Thursdays, 6 pm, Harper 145.
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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

read more
December 6, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

read more
November 30, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

read more
January 5, 2023
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
  • Campus Life

    First Year Earns Respect of School by Beating Up Biggest Guy on the Quad

    Jacob Halabe / November 6, 2023
    read more
  • Off-Campus Life

    New Paid Internship Program Charges Students Instead of Paying Them

    Andrea Zhou / November 6, 2023
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    First Year Really Wants You to Know She Also Got into Yale

    Chicago Shady Dealer / November 5, 2023
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Op-Ed: You’re Doing Everything Wrong Already

    Chicago Shady Dealer / October 26, 2023
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Polsky Center Acquires Kimbark Liquor

    William Wang / October 21, 2023
    read more
  • Off-Campus Life

    Summer Internship Spotlight: “I Worked for A Guy Who Played the Kool-Aid Man in Commercials 20 Years Ago”

    Maisie Thompson / October 18, 2023
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Ranking RSOs Based on How Much Your Parents Approve

    Chicago Shady Dealer / October 17, 2023
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Wow! First year Also From New York

    Chicago Shady Dealer / October 16, 2023
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Admissions Announces Class of ’28 Will Be 10 Guys Who Do Quizbowl

    Jacob Halabe / October 15, 2023
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Conversation With Your Roommate’s Parents Extended Indefinitely

    Chicago Shady Dealer / October 12, 2023
    read more
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