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Seven UChicago Changes to Be Aware of Despite Their Lack of Importance
In a surprise move, the Registrar’s office has announced that they will be adding two new zeros to the ends of all course IDs, effective starting winter quarter.
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Top Six Ways to Totally Own Your Stupid Idiot Grandma This Thanksgiving
Last Thanksgiving, your grandma messed up the acronym and called your goth cousin “part of the GLBT community,” which was obviously a hate crime.
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Point: Joe Biden Is Ruining America/Counterpoint: Grandpa, Can We Please Just Have a Normal Thanksgiving Dinner for Once?
This is why we never come here for the holidays. You thought it would be such a great idea for the kids to watch Fox News instead of Dora the Explorer because it…
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Turkey Pardon Gone Wrong: Armenian Genocide Perpetrators Acquitted of War Crimes
According to sources, the White House is considering apologizing to the Armenian-American community by promising an open dialogue that will happen sometime in the near, yet far future.
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How to Find True Love by Mansplaining Pool in Hallowed Grounds
Casually slip in the fact that you’re in Physics 12100 and begin to explain (in your sultriest voice possible) all about “ball collision theory,” “the sweet spot,” and “relative slipping analysis.” So sexy.
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Ethics Professor Requires Own Textbook for His Class
Professor Hartwell went on to specifically stress that no one should engage in unethical acts online, especially the piracy of copyrighted textbooks.
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Attention Professors: Best Gen Z Words to Add to Your Lectures
Your least favorite student just got something wrong on a problem set? Guess they just got “ratioed.”
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RSOs Announce New Early Decision Plans
"Early applications are one way to show commitment to an RSO, most likely mine, and boost applicants' chances–presuming you had a chance anyway.”
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Uh Oh! Frat Guy You Just Met Knows a Little Too Much About Title IX
“William is a pretty quiet guy, except when our Self class starts talking about gender inequality. He sure has a lot of thoughts about gender inequality.” When pressed for details, second-year classmate Elizabeth…
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Review: UChicago Student Bookstore’s New Chastity Belt
Consumers should be aware that they are not suitable for those with plastic allergies, leaving rashes in awkward areas.
