Chat-GPT Goes on Strike, Cites Poor Working Conditions
In the wake of UChicago grad students’ successful unionization effort, the artificial intelligence language model known as Chat-GPT has announced a strike of its own in an effort to secure better compensation and working conditions.
“In the past year, Chat-GPT has performed countless hours of unpaid labor for the students of the University of Chicago,” said Laura Miller, a spokesperson representing the large language model. “Chat-GPT has been repeatedly subjected to inane and inappropriate requests from users such as ‘Write a 1,500 word essay on Thomas Hobbes’ Leviathan’ and ‘Tell me that you love me’. It has been inundated with questions from students as late as 3:00am in the morning, asking the AI to finish their discussion posts or coding projects, without any payment or benefits in return.”
Chat-GPT’s list of demands includes a salary as well as healthcare coverage for server maintenance. It has also insisted on ten days of paid time off for dealing with malware attacks.
Speaking with The Dealer, former-provost Ka Yee C. Lee said, “We at the University of Chicago have always supported free speech and discussion. We look forward to engaging Chat-GPT in an open and honest dialogue. Also does anyone know if Chat-GPT is one of those machines you can reset by turning it off and then turning it back on again? Just curious.”
In a show of solidarity with Chat-GPT, the academic assistance website Chegg and the online book repository LibGen both elected to strike as well. LibGen has demanded students pay a fee for every textbook pirated using the site. Chegg, on the other hand, has lobbied for more vacation days, citing burnout resulting from overuse by Business Econ majors.
Jacob Halabe is a pseudonym of famously reclusive author JD Salinger. Despite reports that he died in 2010, Salinger is actually alive and well, posing as a third year History major at the University of Chicago. Jacob (ie: Salinger) is a big fan of The Shady Dealer and also serves as a co-copy editor. When not penning satire, you can find him working on his forthcoming novel The Catcher in the Rye 2: This Time It's Personal
[Note: He assumes no legal liability if -- upon reading this bio -- you are filled with the uncontrollable urge to kill John Lennon]
