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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

read more
October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

read more
January 5, 2023
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    PSA: PEE AFTER SEX

    Chicago Shady Dealer / October 6, 2019
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    New Study Says Making Your Bed is For Jackasses

    Calpurnia Higgenbotham / October 6, 2019
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Is UChicago Able to Defend Itself from Roaming Barbarian Hordes? A Review of the Campus’s Defensive Capacities as a Medieval Castle

    / October 6, 2019
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    First year’s Dad going out his way to introduce himself to parents of future exes

    Dingo Mingo / October 6, 2019
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    What To Do If You Call Your RH “Mom”

    Dumbo Mumbo / October 6, 2019
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Incoming Horace Mann Student: “Aww Shucks, the Big City at Last!”

    Diego Matamoros / October 6, 2019
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    O-Aide Mad with Power

    A Concerned Citizen / October 6, 2019
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Obituaries (Special Pre-Screening)

    / October 6, 2019
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    College Republicans Hold “We Swear We Aren’t Evil” Party for Incoming First-years

    / October 3, 2019
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  • Campus Life

    Op-Ed: Scabs Bother Me

    Chicago Shady Dealer / May 31, 2019
    read more
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