Campus Life

Point: Pee in Your Roommate’s Bed. Counterpoint: Pee in Their Shoes Instead.

Point: Pee in Your Roommate’s Bed

By Kasper Kropotkin

Point – roommates are more than friends, they are living mates – partners in life. As multiple scientists have observed in dogs, peeing on one another and in each other’s close quarters is a sign of love and friendship. Therefore, it should be a sign of encouragement that your roommate wants to empty their bladder on your Pottery Barn Teen comforter . 

Counterpoint: Pee in Their Shoes Instead.

By Kodak Lopskinson

You know what’s warm, wet, and reliable? A nice cup of tea. Here’s the best part — after you’ve made your boot full of tea, you can hand it to your roommate, or you can go ahead and dump it on your roommate’s bed. At that point, you should be able to measure out the exact amount needed for the perfectly sized wet spot. How clever! How versatile! In conclusion: skip the blankets and go for the shoe rack. After all, it’s not like there’s been a designated receptacle for human waste in any building I’ve seen in my life.