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Op-Ed: Telegraphs are Ruining Our Children’s Productivity
Back when I was a kid, we went outside and played. We ate Grandma’s lead paint. We sprayed radium pesticides at each other. We lived in the moment.
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Op-Ed: I Am the Emperor, and I Want Dumplings
Some people are born to eat dumplings fed to them by quaking peasants from a silver platter, and other people are all of you.
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Area Man Solves Grain Shortage by Inventing Grain
According to a recent source, Cyde was last seen hoarding the grain and proclaiming it all belonged to him, citing his divine revelation of “social hierarchy.”
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Common Proto-Indo-European Phrases to Learn Before Your Trip to Proto-Indo-Europe
“Vqzwj”- This directly translates to “I enjoy eating birdshit.”
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Five Code Words Your Teen is Using to Talk About Bootlegging
LMAO (Let’s Make Alcohol Outside)
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How to Block Your Ex on Carrier Pigeon
Shoot the pigeons. This one is pretty self explanatory. Dead birds tell no tales, and shooting a few should send a message to others to stay away.
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Cavepeople Enjoying Game of Rock, Rock, Stone
"It would be a vast improvement over the classic children’s game of rock, rock, rock."
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Scientists Finish Figuring Out Which Berries Kill You
The scientists who have compiled this list have not publicly revealed their methods, but an inside source claims it was done through a highly advanced scientific process known as “trial and error.”
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Ye Olde Book Review: The Bible- 7/10, Needs Work
Ultimately, we found that the story is fairly unrealistic, with a deeply unrelatable protagonist “God” isolating the audience from the other characters, which we ultimately come to know and love.
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Top 20 Men In Your Village Who Aren’t Your Brother
#13 will shock and impress you!