• MEETING INFO: Thursdays, 6 pm, Harper 145.
The Chicago Shady Dealer
  • Home
  • Our Work
  • About
  • Previous Issues
  • Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Contact
  • Home
  • Our Work
  • About
  • Previous Issues
  • Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Contact
  • MEETING INFO: Thursdays, 6 pm, Harper 145.

Masthead

Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

read more
November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

read more
April 19, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

read more
January 5, 2023
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

read more
October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

read more
December 6, 2022
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    BREAKING: Jill Stein Wins

    Benjamin Shapiero and 1 more / November 5, 2024
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    UChiVotes Ambassadors Beg Anyone, “Literally Anyone,” to Register to Vote

    Niles Watson / November 5, 2024
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Trump Pledges Political Foes Will Only Be “Lightly Tortured” in Second Term

    Griffin Bonnin Jones / November 5, 2024
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    South to Install New “Vibe-Based” Fire Alarms

    Emma Zamansky / November 4, 2024
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    UChicago to Pay All Employees in Maroon Dollars

    Chase Teichholz / November 4, 2024
    read more
  • Politics

    Kamala Harris Fights Fire with Fire; Works at a Wendy’s

    Niles Watson / November 4, 2024
    read more
  • Politics

    Harris and Trump Unveil Matching Tattoos in Show of Bipartisanship

    Griffin Bonnin Jones / November 3, 2024
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Top 5 Most Eligible Bachelors at UChicago

    Jacob Halabe / October 21, 2024
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Shortened Quarters

    Andrea Zhou / October 20, 2024
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Naive First-Year Still Thinks He Will Have Same Academic Advisor All Four Years

    Maisie Thompson and 1 more / October 16, 2024
    read more
2324252627

Chicago Shady Dealer

  • Home
  • Our Work
  • About
  • Previous Issues
  • Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Contact

Archives

Categories

For Writers

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
© 2026 Chicago Shady Dealer
Ashe Theme by WP Royal.