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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

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January 5, 2023
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    BREAKING: Jill Stein Wins

    Benjamin Shapiero and 1 more / November 5, 2024
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    UChiVotes Ambassadors Beg Anyone, “Literally Anyone,” to Register to Vote

    Niles Watson / November 5, 2024
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Trump Pledges Political Foes Will Only Be “Lightly Tortured” in Second Term

    Griffin Bonnin Jones / November 5, 2024
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    South to Install New “Vibe-Based” Fire Alarms

    Emma Zamansky / November 4, 2024
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    UChicago to Pay All Employees in Maroon Dollars

    Chase Teichholz / November 4, 2024
    read more
  • Politics

    Kamala Harris Fights Fire with Fire; Works at a Wendy’s

    Niles Watson / November 4, 2024
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  • Politics

    Harris and Trump Unveil Matching Tattoos in Show of Bipartisanship

    Griffin Bonnin Jones / November 3, 2024
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Top 5 Most Eligible Bachelors at UChicago

    Jacob Halabe / October 21, 2024
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Shortened Quarters

    Andrea Zhou / October 20, 2024
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Naive First-Year Still Thinks He Will Have Same Academic Advisor All Four Years

    Maisie Thompson and 1 more / October 16, 2024
    read more
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