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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

read more
January 5, 2023
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

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December 6, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Volume 16 Issue 5

    Chicago Shady Dealer / May 21, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    How to Look Less Delicious to Your Roommate

    Chicago Shady Dealer / May 9, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    You don’t really have a dairy allergy, have you tried meditation?

    Chicago Shady Dealer / May 9, 2020
    read more
  • Issues

    Volume 16 Issue 4

    Chicago Shady Dealer / April 13, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    After Dropping Out of Democratic Primary, Mayor Pete Sees Rise In Black Support

    Nico Aldape / April 4, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Counterpoint: I Use Cursive Every Day

    / April 4, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Dealer Music Review: “Take Me Out to the Ball Game”

    R.E. Stern / April 4, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Fourth Year Math Major Forgets How to Read

    Deblina Mukherjee and 1 more / April 4, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    New Company Sells T-Shirts to Spread Awareness of Coronavirus and Actual Coronavirus

    Clayton Lovell / April 4, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    NEW! Duck Dynasty Inspired Line of Canada Goose Winter Parkas!

    Kate Kaplin / April 4, 2020
    read more
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