• MEETING INFO: Thursdays, 6 pm, Harper 145.
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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

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December 6, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

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January 5, 2023
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    35 Ways to Spend Your Extra Daylight Savings Hour This Weekend:

    Harrison Weinstein / March 9, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    The Worst Part of MODA Was Having to Put the Models Down after the Show 

    The Tube Sock Warehouse / March 3, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    “It’s Not Easy Being a Horse,” Says Horse

    Joelle Stephenson / February 27, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Where Does One Go for a Good Time Wednesday Evening?

    Kenneth Moss and 1 more / February 27, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Area Man Sings Aria

    Kate Kaplin / February 27, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Op-ed: I’m Starting to Suspect These Kids Aren’t into Mardi Gras for Religious Reasons

    John Buterbaugh / February 27, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    New Gentrification Destination for UChicago Students: Rural Iowa

    Tiny Caucuser / February 4, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Cool! I’ve Watched the Superbowl for Ten Minutes. I’m So American. Bar Stool Sports, Yeah. I’m in a Room with Men Drinking Coors Light and Yelling Loudly at People from California. This Feels Right. Something About This Feels Very Right. My Life Has Never Felt So Right Till Now. I Have Found My Place in a Room With All These Men, These American Men Who Don’t Like People From California, and Now My Life Feels Right, Finally.

    I Don’t Need My Ex-Wife Anymore / February 3, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Longstanding UChicago Tradition Datamatch Returns for Its Second Year

    Chicago Shady Dealer and 2 more / February 2, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    University Disappointed to Discover Jewel Purchase Does Not Include Mango Pods

    Sam Nitkin / January 30, 2020
    read more
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