• MEETING INFO: Thursdays, 6 pm, Harper 145.
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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

read more
December 6, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

read more
November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

read more
April 19, 2021
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

read more
November 30, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Law School Introduces “Accelerated Graduation Plan” for Future Justices

    / September 22, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    13 Things This Ominous Timer Could Be Counting Down To

    Chicago Shady Dealer / September 20, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Shady Dealer Accepts Nell Rydzewski in Baffling Strategic Move

    Nell Rydzewski / September 15, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    What Thought Will the Chicago Thinker Think Next?

    Talking Heads / September 9, 2020
    read more
  • Campus Life,  Politics

    Point: Students Who Catch COVID Should Be Sent to Stony Island. Counterpoint: Safe Spaces are Bad

    University of Chicago Administration / September 9, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    UChicago Student: “Will There Be A Curve on the COVID Test?”

    Chicago Shady Dealer / September 9, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Volume 16 Issue 6

    Diego Matamoros / August 14, 2020
    read more
  • Politics

    Biden Chooses Kamala Harris for President, Joe Biden for VP

    R.E. Stern / August 12, 2020
    read more
  • Campus Life

    OP-ED: I’m a Fundamentals Major and My Question is “A Who Did What Now?”

    Anne Lim and Jo Blankson / August 10, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    We Know a Lot of Words, but None of Them are “Black Lives Matter”, Apparently

    University of Chicago Administration / June 2, 2020
    read more
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