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Fourth Year Math Major Forgets How to Read
What had previously been considered an un-losable skill, like riding a bike or swimming, has for the first time been proven to be losable. This past Monday, Ican Add became the first person in history to lose the ability to read. “The loss of the ability to read—what our team is tentatively terming “disreadabula”, is an incident of extreme scientific interest, a phenomenon previously only theorized,” lead investigator Ben Maxwell said. Add’s disreadabula may only be the tip of the iceberg; in the time since the discovery of the illiteracy event, evidence of further illiteracy among other Math majors has also recently been found. “We started working with Ican…
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UChicago Wifi Ranked #333,333,333 by US News and World Report
The University of Chicago’s wireless internet services have dropped to No. 333,333,333 in U.S. News & World Report’s 2020 ranking of university wireless internet services (colloquially called “WiFi”). The U.S. News rankings take into account connection availability, reliability rates, and a variety of other factors, with increased focus this year on criteria relating to WiFi speed in libraries. In the 2020 rankings, Princeton and Harvard Universities’ WiFi services were ranked No. 1 and 2, respectively, with Columbia, MIT, and Yale sharing the No. 3 spot. Northwestern, Duke, and Johns Hopkins finish out the schools ranked in the top 10, with Duke and Johns Hopkins tied for No. 10. U.S. News stopped factoring admissions rates…
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