• MEETING INFO: Thursdays, 6 pm, Harper 145.
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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

read more
October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

read more
December 6, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

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January 5, 2023
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
  • Politics

    6 Cute Dogs Who Can’t Understand Why the Election is Important

    R.E. Stern / November 2, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Letter: There’s Always Spring Quarter

    Chicago Shady Dealer and 1 more / October 30, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Night Owls Presents: Will it be Cold This Winter?

    Diego Matamoros / October 28, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Mitch McConnell rages at Hype House, looks to contract COVID-19 

    Ryan Park / October 25, 2020
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Zoom Host Drunk with Power

    Cameron Chang / October 19, 2020
    read more
  • Arts & Culture

    I Broke My Pencil and Now I’m Sad I Can’t Fix It.

    Kate Kaplin / October 19, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Booth Student Announces His Two-Week “Immersive Empathy Micro-Metcalf Retreat” on Linkedin

    Logan Todrick “Todd” Aubergine IX / October 19, 2020
    read more
  • Campus Life

    If You Sent Your Crush the Wrong Quad Pics…I Am Here to Help.

    Ross Shapiro / October 19, 2020
    read more
  • 8=Democracy

    The 2020 Election Explained in Three Charts

    Cameron Chang / October 19, 2020
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    New Passive Investing RSO Proves Profitable, “Incredibly Boring”

    An Econ Major / October 19, 2020
    read more
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