To the Class of 2024:
On Thursday, administration released plans for remote classes to continue through winter quarter. We know that two quarters in a row of distance learning isn’t how you planned to start your time in college. You wanted to spend Orientation Week with several dozen of your newest friends and an ungodly amount of alcohol, not on a Zoom call from your childhood twin bed. You were supposed to be sitting at a cubicle in the Reg when you got your first failing grade on a paper. You wanted to make friends that you knew for certain were not golden retrievers who learned to type.
COVID-19, of course, has made all of that impossible. Frankly, you should have known that a school with a phoenix in its seal would eventually become a glorified version of the University of Phoenix, but we’ll let that slide. Now that our quarter of online learning is about to start, though, we’d like to offer you some useful advice. Whenever you’re frustrated with Zoom, or feeling isolated from your social support network, just remember this simple phrase: “There’s always spring quarter“.
When will we all be able to meet in person again? There’s always spring quarter. When spring quarter comes, COVID-19 will be under control, and we’ll finally get the benefits of an in-person education. Rest assured, the hope that we have for spring quarter is genuine, and we’re sure that when spring quarter comes along, the University won’t pull the rug out from under us yet again.
Of course, it is unhealthy to fixate on spring quarter as the potential solution to every single one of your problems. And the mere fact that it’s not spring quarter yet shouldn’t stop you from attempting to enjoy a limited college experience. But when the going gets tough this quarter — and it will — we hope it will help you to remember that spring quarter is not that far away, and once it arrives, you’ll finally get to see what all the fuss is about UChicago.
The Optimists at the Shady Dealer