The Chicago Shady Dealer

The Only Intentional Humor Publication of the University of Chicago

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Masthead

Editors in Chief

Deblina Mukherjee

Diego Matamoros

Managing Editor

Kelly Tsing Sum Lo

Layout Editor

Christian Villanueva

Copy Editors

Harry Weinstein

Rahul Gupta

Photo Editor

R.E. Stern

Social Secretary

Kate Kaplin

Director of Special Projects

Merrin Seegers

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected]

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    5 Cats Who Definitely Voted for Donald Trump

    November 17, 2020 /

    Snuffles has been a part of the Young Republicans ever since she could drink milk out of a dish. She thinks that the free cat movement by those liberal snowflakes is an abomination and going to destroy her way of life.

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    Kate Kaplin 0 Comments

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    Survey: Math Department Unaware Gerald Ford No Longer President

    January 20, 2021

    How to Write the Republic Using Your Excess Plastic Silverware

    November 23, 2020

    Booth Student Announces His Two-Week “Immersive Empathy Micro-Metcalf Retreat” on Linkedin

    October 19, 2020
  • 8=Democracy

    In 2020, Which Issues are UChicago Students Most Concerned About?

    September 28, 2020 /

    We decided that it was time to leave the dark cramped maintenance closet of our headquarters and hit the streets and see what the people had to say about the key issues this election cycle.  Unfortunately no one was outside, and everyone we approached made sure to stay six feet away from us at all times, which made interviewing them pretty difficult. We did manage to find three individuals on campus willing to talk to us: two Rev Coms who apparently haven’t realized there’s a pandemic going on in here, and a frat brother smoking outside of a children’s preschool, so it was nice to survey both ends of the…

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    Kate Kaplin 0 Comments

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    It’s Your God-Given Right to Overreact to the FiveThirtyEight Election Forecast

    September 28, 2020

    We Asked Each State’s Residents Who They Were Voting For. Here’s What They Told Us.

    September 28, 2020

    The 2020 Election Explained in Three Charts

    October 19, 2020
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Longstanding UChicago Tradition Datamatch Returns for Its Second Year

    February 2, 2020 /

    “Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch!”  That’s right, folks, it’s that time again: your favorite event of Winter Quarter, nay, the year, is back! Datamatch, the most effective matchmaking experiment since Bachelor in Paradise, has returned—this time with more insightful questions, and what the press is calling “an insurmountable amount of hype.” For over a year, we have worked tirelessly to present this 25 question quiz designed to help you to find your soulmate or BFF.  The history of Datamatch at the University of Chicago is a long and noble one, going all the way back to February 2019. Harvard called, and…

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    Chicago Shady Dealer and 2 more 0 Comments

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    Michael Phelps: “Therapy Helped Me Overcome My Fear of Drowning under the Weight of 23 Olympic Gold Medals”

    January 23, 2020

    Every Time You Say “Happy Holidays” Instead of “Merry Christmas”, Something Bad Happens, But We’re Not Sure What

    December 25, 2020

    Victoria’s Secret Remains Supportive despite COVID-19 Regulations

    January 13, 2021

Chicago Shady Dealer

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Read It and Weep

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