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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

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December 6, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

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January 5, 2023
  • Historical Issue

    Five Code Words Your Teen is Using to Talk About Bootlegging

    Griffin Bonnin Jones / April 28, 2023
    read more
  • Historical Issue

    How to Block Your Ex on Carrier Pigeon

    Chicago Shady Dealer / April 28, 2023
    read more
  • Historical Issue

    Cavepeople Enjoying Game of Rock, Rock, Stone

    Chicago Shady Dealer / April 27, 2023
    read more
  • Historical Issue

    Scientists Finish Figuring Out Which Berries Kill You

    Chicago Shady Dealer / April 26, 2023
    read more
  • Historical Issue

    Ye Olde Book Review: The Bible- 7/10, Needs Work

    Andre Dang and 1 more / April 26, 2023
    read more
  • Historical Issue

    Top 20 Men In Your Village Who Aren’t Your Brother

    Chicago Shady Dealer / April 25, 2023
    read more
  • Historical Issue

    Meet the Local Cow Named Least Likely to Burn Down City

    Chicago Shady Dealer / April 25, 2023
    read more
  • Historical Issue

    Man Shouts Fire in Crowded Library of Alexandria

    Chicago Shady Dealer / April 24, 2023
    read more
  • Historical Issue

    Jackass Runs 26.2 Miles, Demands Medal

    Chicago Shady Dealer / April 23, 2023
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Meet UChicago’s First-Ever Econ Major/Econ Minor

    Chicago Shady Dealer / April 22, 2023
    read more
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