Historical Issue
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Local Serialized Novel Enters Five Hundred and Seventh Chapter
The main storyline of The Abandoned Plot was resolved in Chapter 43, when the heroine, Genevieve, died clutching the locket she had recently inherited from her long-lost mother. However, Miss Norwich insists that…
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Point: It Is the Best of Times / Counterpoint: It Is the Worst of Times
O, what a time to be alive! There are a few idiots (who pay their friends to explain Adam Smith to them) at the apex of society, while the masses toil for a…
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Charlatan Accused of Selling Fake Tulips Found Hiding Buckets of Paint Behind a Windmill
Unless you have decided to establish your domicile under some sedimentary formation, you may have turned your ear to our own fair tulip market. The most popular varietal at this time has been…
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Disgusting Mouse Cartoon Repulses Nation
His ribald and impudent manner has already provoked fierce backlash from audiences, who have branded him a “verminous disciple of Lucifer” and “Doctor Moreau’s most lamentable creation.”
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Point: Your Country’s Science Education is Lacking; Counterpoint: WE GOT THE MOON FIRST CRY ABOUT IT
WHO NEEDS EDUCATION WHEN WE HAVE NUKES AND A ROCKETSHIP TO THE MOON
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U.S. Declares Victory in Cold War as Bush Shellacs Gorbachev in Potato Sack Race
“Well gosh darn it, I’m just about as pleased as punch,” a breathless, ruddy-cheeked Bush told reporters following the race. “I don’t even know if I’ll take the sack off. Maybe this will…
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Richard Nixon Dazzles Nation With Beautiful Swimsuit Bod
Although reports stated that Nixon “was whispering a lot” and “looked like he hadn’t slept in days,” it’s safe to say that his disheveled look is certainly doing things for us!
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Pigs Rooted Out of Truffle-Hunting Business by Sick New Dog Breed
“Now that these dumb dogs are hogging all the truffles, I’m finished,” local boar Mario Roccaforte told the Dealer. “I had the sharpest snout of any porker this side of the Fiumi Uniti,…
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New Statement From Hitler: “After Poland I’m Done Bro, Trust Me Bro, Deadass”
“As soon as we capture Poland and return it to our rightful ownership, that will probably be the last of our offensives. Although Denmark and Norway are looking quite nice this time of…
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They wouldn’t let me into the Donner party and I am IRATE
Out of spite, I wish that the Donner party encounters mild difficulties in their travels.
