My cough is entirely gone, but I am having a bit of trouble seeing the newspaper. The paper boy got me right between the eyes and I just kind of stood there for…

Lord Byron swears he wrote “She Walks In Beauty” about your wife three years before ever meeting her.

“The problem is that everyone is sad,” said Council for International Economists chairman John Maynard Keynes. “If everyone were happy, people would buy stuff and the economy would be good. But everyone is…

Every morning, you all crowd down to Canary Wharf to look for work, and often, you are offered a job. And what a job it is! Unburdened by skill, or artisanship, you can…

“There’s no way one of those dastardly machines can replace one o’ us!” said Johnny Cross, a ten-year-old orphan in the workhouse.

“Zis is zee greatest honor a man can be given,” said Crashenblimpen, “I am compliment zat zis vill not be an ironic coincidence years on.”

“Why a musical? I’m a serious historical figure, and you guys are just dancing around the stage rapping. Oh dear, please tell me you didn’t include the affair… oh yes, yes you did."

The text reportedly opens five years after the events of the first book, and follows Jorge Jorwell, karate master and secret revolutionary leader who’s also really hot and has a lot of sex.

Kleene has already had an established career inventing mind-boggling mathematical concepts to demonstrate his non-existent narcissism, such as the Kleene closure, and Kleene algebra.

AUSTRIA– The biggest music beef of 1790 just had its most exciting update yet. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart utterly destroyed longtime rival Ludwig Van Beethoven with the smash track “Piano Sonata No. 9.” The…