Historical Issue

Ye Olde Book Review: The Bible- 7/10, Needs Work

The Holy Bible is one of the most popular works of contemporary literature. Ultimately, we found that the story is fairly unrealistic, with a deeply unrelatable protagonist “God” isolating the audience from the other characters, which we ultimately come to know and love.

The Bible, recently released, by author [REDACTED], tells the story of the start of humankind alongside some important lessons which we should all live by. While we start out with a fascinating love story of lovebirds galavanting in a garden, the human characters emote less and less as we are introduced to more of them. While this might be a strategic choice based on the author’s experience in [REDACTED], and their past novels, one cannot but wonder what wonderful stories could be spun if only we were given more insight into each character’s life. 

The author really comes into their own during the more romantic scenes. In fact, they could do more in this area and give the audience more detail, more smut, and simply more of those scenes in general.

  We don’t know much about the author, but [REDACTED] tells us that they came from the town of [REDACTED]. Their writing influences are clear, particularly drawing on [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]. [REDACTED] enjoys [REDACTED] and lives with [REDACTED]. 

One can only hope this book receives a sequel, as audiences are clamoring for “The Bible 2: Return of The Bible.” The book’s premise is promising but ultimately the execution and inclusion of certain characters did a disservice to an otherwise interesting but certainly outlandish, story. Also, I don’t know why the author hated that “Job” guy so much, but the Dealer certainly hopes that he gets redeemed in the sequel.

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Managing Editor, 2022-23