8=Democracy

In 2020, Which Issues are UChicago Students Most Concerned About?

We decided that it was time to leave the dark cramped maintenance closet of our headquarters and hit the streets and see what the people had to say about the key issues this election cycle. 

Unfortunately no one was outside, and everyone we approached made sure to stay six feet away from us at all times, which made interviewing them pretty difficult. We did manage to find three individuals on campus willing to talk to us: two Rev Coms who apparently haven’t realized there’s a pandemic going on in here, and a frat brother smoking outside of a children’s preschool, so it was nice to survey both ends of the political spectrum. From there we used our trademarked Shady Dealer Algorithm™ and filled in the blanks and deduced what the average UChicago student is really looking for in a candidate this November.

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