Chicago Shady Dealer

13 Things This Ominous Timer Could Be Counting Down To

00 : 00 : 00 : 00
days hrs mins secs

 

  1. The election (if you thought it was on Nov. 3, you’re wrong, get to voting, dumbass)
  2. Your parents’ divorce
  3. The next time you decide to get Chick-fil-A instead of making dinner again
  4. Your parents’ remarriage to other people
  5. Plan B’s going out of business sale
  6. The ten-second window where it’s safe to eat that avocado you bought in June
  7. Your parents’ remarriage to each other, and Doug
  8. Pain locker
  9. Next time you give up your principles and decide to order dish soap from Amazon
  10. When another universally beloved celebrity dies
  11. When Doug dies
  12. That awkward call where your O-mance tells you you have COVID
  13. When you finally figure out what lame thing this timer is actually about