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Masthead

Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

read more
January 5, 2023
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

read more
November 30, 2022
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

read more
December 6, 2022
  • Campus Life

    University to Require Incoming Students to Sign Waiver to Use Cobb Staircase

    Katherine Timm / April 20, 2026
    read more
  • Lifestyle

    Top 5 Things Making a Comeback in 2026

    Shayaan Gandhi / April 19, 2026
    read more
  • Campus Life

    I-House Bake Sale Raises Enough Money to Move Building Closer to Campus

    Katherine Timm / April 18, 2026
    read more
  • Arts & Culture,  Lifestyle

    “Never Heard of That Movie”: The Top 5 Things You Say When the Oscars Are On

    Alexa Walsh / April 17, 2026
    read more
  • Politics,  World Affairs

    2016 Elections 2.0: This Time It’s Personal

    Vivian Psylos / April 16, 2026
    read more
  • Campus Life

    50 History Majors Agree to “Just Share” Required Textbook

    Katherine Timm / April 15, 2026
    read more
  • Politics

    Trump invokes presidential immunity after 7-Eleven shoplifting incident

    Griffin Bonnin Jones / April 14, 2026
    read more
  • Politics

    Candace Owens Claims Ghost of Christmas Past was Charlie Kirk the Whole Time

    Renaldo Crayola Stapletush the Six Seventh / April 13, 2026
    read more
  • Off-Campus Life,  Sex and Love

    Top 5 Discoveries I Made When My Lyft Took Me to My Date an Hour Late

    Vivian Psylos / April 10, 2026
    read more
  • Campus Life,  Sex and Love

    Applications Open for Admissions Office’s “Spontaneous University Compliment Squad”

    Katherine Timm / April 9, 2026
    read more
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