Chicago Shady Dealer

35 Ways to Spend Your Extra Daylight Savings Hour This Weekend:

  1. Bungee jumping
  2. Having sex
  3. Having more sex
  4. Having even more sex because you really don’t take that long to have sex
  5. Calling your mother and apologizing for everything
  6. Finally visiting the Art Institute
  7. Touring Evanston to feel slightly better about your decision to come here
  8. PLEIN AIR, finally finishing the long-overdue HUM paper you had all those ideas for when you started (applies to all years)
  9. Breathing because you forget how you breathe all the time and it’s amazing
  10. Mountain biking
  11. Going camping for one complete hour
  12. Apologizing to your mother again
  13. Going on a date with a real human being who is real, definitely, and totally human
  14. Starting books you likely will never finish
  15. Going for a walk with friends
  16. Exploring all Alaska has to offer,
  17. Seeing a doctor — like literally just seeing anyone who happens to be a doctor — just so you can say “today I saw a doctor” before you apologize to your mother again
  18. Not feeling guilty and bad about things
  19. Feeling guilty and bad about things
  20. Visiting the graves of people you know
  21. Hanging out with friends you love but never see and enjoying time together… oh wait, fuck, daylight savings is the other way around this time.

Fuck, I’m so fucked. I’m so fucked, I’m so so fucked.