-
I’m 40, I Teach Here, and I Just Messaged You on Tinder
So how about it? Wanna give me a shot? If the age gap ever feels weird, just pretend I’m 25 like I said I was when we first matched.
-
Op-Ed: This New Provost Will Fix Everything!
I don’t really know what a provost does, but I do know that our new one will live up to the hype.
-
Provost Argues against Atoms Unionizing to Form Bonds
The credibility of the statement was called into question by representatives from the NLrB (the Nitrogen-Lawrencium-Boron Union), as the University is known to benefit from ions and other dissociated species.
-
North Korea Wins Unprecedented 18th World Cup
Dear Leader Kim and Goalie-in-Chief Jong-Un scored the go-ahead goal, along with North Korea’s second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth goals.
-
Struggling in a Toxic Relationship? Try Being More Toxic
We interviewed one of the RSO’s most active members, Jake Neebus, and asked him why he joined. “I like making my girlfriend cry,” said Neebus. “I like it a lot.”
-
Point: I Wanna Step on the Reynolds Club Seal/ Counterpoint: I Want the Reynolds Club Seal to Step on Me
It’s not like I haven’t tried to make it happen, either. I’ve dropped subtle hints — every time I walk through Reynolds, I make sure I’m looking my best.
-
Op-Ed: Hey Stacy, Bring Your Mom to the Party Tomorrow
I know you’ve been wanting to get drinks with me for a while, so like, you should totally come to the party with your mom ‘cause we’ll definitely have drinks.
-
Point: I Can Fix Him/ Counterpoint: I Can Make Him Worse
Beneath his hard exterior and the many demeaning comments he makes about all my female friends, I can see a sensitive man who only occasionally tells me I’m worthless.
-
BTS Members Disband for Good After Finding Their True Passion in the Military
“It will allow me to travel the world and see my fans!”
-
Point: Hey Guys! Watch Me Do an Ollie on My Skateboard!/ Counterpoint: Uh Oh!
Josh, grab my phone and text that girl I’ve been talking to. Yeah, Ashley. Tell her to get over here. Tell her it’s the hill by Alex’s house.
