• MEETING INFO: Thursdays, 6 pm, Harper 145.
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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

read more
October 24, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

read more
January 5, 2023
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

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December 6, 2022
  • Campus Life,  Scientific Excellence

    In Bid for Diversity, Board Chooses Muppet as Next UChicago President

    🅱️alter / March 1, 2021
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Conservative Students Silenced by Regenstein Library’s 4th floor

    Adam Zabner / February 27, 2021
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    You Got Us: Here are Other Maroon Articles We Released Without People Knowing

    Chicago Shady Dealer / February 26, 2021
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    How Covid and the Summer’s Racial Reckoning Impacted the Way I, Your Friendly Neighborhood Econ Frat Bro, Live My Life and View the World

    Your Friendly Neighborhood Econ Frat Bro / February 25, 2021
    read more
  • Lifestyle

    Rock Salt Flavor Retrospective: Hyde Park, Winter 2020-2021

    Ian Olson / February 24, 2021
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Exclusive: Top Brass Dispels Rumors of SSA/Crown Remilitarization

    Chicago Shady Dealer / February 22, 2021
    read more
  • COVID Special Issue

    Bummed about a Pandemic Breakup? It May Be an Opportunity for Growth

    Michael Taylor / February 19, 2021
    read more
  • COVID Special Issue

    Friendship During COVID–19 Requires Communication and Consent

    Travis Blackley / February 19, 2021
    read more
  • COVID Special Issue

    How UChicago’s Class of 2025 Navigated an Unprecedented Application Cycle

    Chicago Shady Dealer / February 19, 2021
    read more
  • COVID Special Issue

    The Talker Versus the Texter

    Chicago Thinker / February 19, 2021
    read more
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