• MEETING INFO: Thursdays, 6 pm, Harper 145.
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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

UChicago Student Running From College Council

While the beginning of Spring Quarter has marked numerous announcements of ambitious students running for College Council, one student has decided to rival this long-standing tradition by running from College Council. Simon Jorgensen, a second year…

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April 19, 2021
Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

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January 5, 2023
  • Campus Life

    I’m an Alpha Delt Pledge and You’re a Loser

    Victor Tyne / April 13, 2021
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Michele Rasmussen Declares That Frat Parties Are “Not Poggers” in Attempt to Connect with Youth

    Andre Dang / April 12, 2021
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Frats Release Statement: “Hey Look, A Cool Bird!”

    Chicago Shady Dealer / April 8, 2021
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Spring Break to be Renamed ‘Kenneth C. Griffin Week of March 21st’

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 12, 2021
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    What I Wish I Had Known on March 11th, 2020: A One-Year Retrospective on my Gilded Age History and Economy Final Exam

    Ian Olson / March 11, 2021
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Admin Introduces Reading Hour Every Week That Accumulates Into One Reading Day

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 10, 2021
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    I Failed My First HUM Paper and I Don’t Know Why… ?

    Co-penned in joint fashion by Ethan Ross and Victor Tyne / March 8, 2021
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Canada Goose Wearer Cries for UCPD as Feathers Are Ripped Off His Back 

    Clayton Lovell / March 7, 2021
    read more
  • Campus Life

    Only Permitted Spring Break Activity is Clicking This Button, Admin Says

    Deblina Mukherjee and 1 more / March 7, 2021
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer,  Off-Campus Life

    Frat Cites Disparities in Alcohol Access as Reason to Become Hazing-Optional

    Gill Kiunnak / March 5, 2021
    read more
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