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9,300 Miles and 14 Hours Away, International Students Struggle With Attending UChicago Virtually
“It’s actually been really nice,” said third-year Fig Newton, currently located in Singapore. “Because all of my classes are from 1 a.m. to 4 a.m. my time, I barely see my family. I’ve…
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“A Fatiguing Journey”: A Frontline Worker at UChicago Hospital Reflects
“Because of COVID,” Orst said, “elevators have been at limited capacity. I’ve had to take the stairs to move my liquids from Floor 4 to Floor 5. Do you know how long it…
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Students Collect Oral History of Frontline Workers During Pandemic
The oral history tracks the dental health and oral hygiene of a selected group of UChicago Medicine patients through weekly interviews. “I’d ask someone to report to me about their molars and we’d…
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First-Year Experiences During a Quarter of Firsts
As a first-year college student, I feel privileged to be among the select group of students experiencing college for the first time through the lens of remote learning. As such, I am preparing…
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344 Days of Isolation: The Dealer’s COVID Retrospective
Today, the Shady Dealer is proud to be the very first UChicago publication to release a coronavirus retrospective issue. We’d like to stress that all of the content in our retrospective is 100%…
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Angry Patriots Fans Revoke Standing Offer to Suck Tom Brady’s Dick, But We Haven’t
Several irate Patriots fans, livid after the appearance of Tom Brady in a Tampa Bay Buccaneers uniform at Super Bowl LV, have retracted their standing offers to perform oral sex on the quarterback…
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When the world needed it most, Datamatch Returns!
It’s been a year. What? It’s only February? Well between attempted coups and unstable internet connections, we here at the Chicago Shady Dealer have had our hands full. Not full enough to forget…
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r/WallStreetBets to Become Newest Finance RSO
Hyde Park- r/wallstreetbets has been granted special RSO status by UChicago’s admin, becoming the latest finance RSO to plague the University. Special RSO status allows a group to bypass the typical RSO application…
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Top 7 Things In My Room I Haven’t Made Beautiful Love To
With the COVID-19 pandemic, us first-years have had a good amount of time to explore our rooms. That being said, here’s seven things in my room I haven’t made sweet, sweet love to.
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How To Get This Quarter’s Existential Crisis Over With Early
As winter quarter begins and your courses kick into high gear, it's once again time to face the fact that at some point between now and finals, you’ll inevitably break down. But can…
