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Senioritis Overtakes COVID as Dominant Viral Infection on Campus
Fourth-years bear higher risk of senioritis than others, though it is not uncommon to see second- and third-years experiencing similar symptoms. First-years are the least susceptible, but even they can be infected, especially…
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Ye Olde Book Review: The Bible- 7/10, Needs Work
Ultimately, we found that the story is fairly unrealistic, with a deeply unrelatable protagonist “God” isolating the audience from the other characters, which we ultimately come to know and love.
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New Shuttle Route Takes You to a Date with Pete Davidson
The destination is a mystery, but the promise of Pete Davidson should assuage any worry.
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Yay for the Youth! CDC Finds New COVID Vaccine Side Effect To Be “Just Like Getting High on LSD”
The Center for Disease Control (CDC) released a statement last night stating that in addition to the flu-like symptoms, COVID vaccines can also lead to feelings of complete ecstasy and otherworldliness.
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5 Cats Who Definitely Voted for Donald Trump
Snuffles has been a part of the Young Republicans ever since she could drink milk out of a dish. She thinks that the free cat movement by those liberal snowflakes is an abomination…
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I Broke My Pencil and Now I’m Sad I Can’t Fix It.
That’s the title I am ashamed to declare I broke my pencil
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In 2020, Which Issues are UChicago Students Most Concerned About?
We decided that it was time to leave the dark cramped maintenance closet of our headquarters and hit the streets and see what the people had to say about the key issues this…
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NEW! Duck Dynasty Inspired Line of Canada Goose Winter Parkas!
Are you a person from the “square states” who wants to show off your newfound wealth without “losing touch with your roots”? Did you just win the lottery or inherit money from your…
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Phil (the Phoenix) Starts Fire
Another $300 million down the drain, and the big question that remains is this: whose idea it was to care for a dying phoenix in a bustling hospital? (It’s almost as if nobody…
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Point/Counterpoint: 11 Things UChicago Students Think They’re Doing Right Now versus 11 Things UChicago Students Are Actually Doing Right Now
Point: Solving the mystery of what happened to the missing sock in the laundry Counterpoint: Watching Sherlock for the 4thtime Point: Supporting local businesses and restaurants Counterpoint: Being too lazy to cook…
