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The Carillon Guild: Before and After the Pandemic
It was a cold morning, I remember thinking that it had probably rained last night. I’m pretty good at telling when it’s recently rained. I’m actually just pretty good at meteorology stuff in…
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9,300 Miles and 14 Hours Away, International Students Struggle With Attending UChicago Virtually
“It’s actually been really nice,” said third-year Fig Newton, currently located in Singapore. “Because all of my classes are from 1 a.m. to 4 a.m. my time, I barely see my family. I’ve…
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“A Fatiguing Journey”: A Frontline Worker at UChicago Hospital Reflects
“Because of COVID,” Orst said, “elevators have been at limited capacity. I’ve had to take the stairs to move my liquids from Floor 4 to Floor 5. Do you know how long it…
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Students Collect Oral History of Frontline Workers During Pandemic
The oral history tracks the dental health and oral hygiene of a selected group of UChicago Medicine patients through weekly interviews. “I’d ask someone to report to me about their molars and we’d…
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First-Year Experiences During a Quarter of Firsts
As a first-year college student, I feel privileged to be among the select group of students experiencing college for the first time through the lens of remote learning. As such, I am preparing…
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344 Days of Isolation: The Dealer’s COVID Retrospective
Today, the Shady Dealer is proud to be the very first UChicago publication to release a coronavirus retrospective issue. We’d like to stress that all of the content in our retrospective is 100%…
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Angry Patriots Fans Revoke Standing Offer to Suck Tom Brady’s Dick, But We Haven’t
Several irate Patriots fans, livid after the appearance of Tom Brady in a Tampa Bay Buccaneers uniform at Super Bowl LV, have retracted their standing offers to perform oral sex on the quarterback…
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When the world needed it most, Datamatch Returns!
It’s been a year. What? It’s only February? Well between attempted coups and unstable internet connections, we here at the Chicago Shady Dealer have had our hands full. Not full enough to forget…
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r/WallStreetBets to Become Newest Finance RSO
Hyde Park- r/wallstreetbets has been granted special RSO status by UChicago’s admin, becoming the latest finance RSO to plague the University. Special RSO status allows a group to bypass the typical RSO application…
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Top 7 Things In My Room I Haven’t Made Beautiful Love To
With the COVID-19 pandemic, us first-years have had a good amount of time to explore our rooms. That being said, here’s seven things in my room I haven’t made sweet, sweet love to.
