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Overachiever Who Watches All Orientation Materials Becomes God Emperor
In yet another turn of events during an already untraditional O-Week, one first year who actually watched all the orientation videos is now inundated with so much knowledge that he has become a…
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Coronavirus isn’t a big deal, it’ll be gone by Easter, I’ll be right eventually, it is what it is; Trump Contracts Coronavirus
From the bottom of our hearts, we, the Editorial Staff at the Chicago Shady Dealer, have only this to say: wow, what a BORE this year has been. Truly, how uneventful. It started…
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Last Night’s Presidential Debate Was A Terrible Romantic Comedy
As a self described film-enthusiast, I’ve seen my fair share of romantic comedies, affectionately known as romcoms. From 50 First Dates to Love, Actually, I’ve damn near seen it all, so you can…
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Fuck It, We’re Launching a Data Journalism Site
They said it couldn’t be done. They said it was logistically impossible—we were “students” with “work to get done”. They said we were just a “minor college humor magazine” and that we “didn’t…
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We Asked Each State’s Residents Who They Were Voting For. Here’s What They Told Us.
Collecting national polling results, and filtering out for the ones that had words instead of big numbers, gave us the following easy to follow and mostly accurate polling results. Nate Silver himself rated…
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It’s Your God-Given Right to Overreact to the FiveThirtyEight Election Forecast
With political candidates in today’s 24-hour news cycle, it’s less “what have you done for me?” and more “what have you done for me lately?” Who cares which political candidate is best for…
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In 2020, Which Issues are UChicago Students Most Concerned About?
We decided that it was time to leave the dark cramped maintenance closet of our headquarters and hit the streets and see what the people had to say about the key issues this…
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Getting Starting: Five Things I Learned from Online Orientation
The College rolled out some shiny, new orientation programming this year, to the delight of us first-years. And those online Canvas/EverFi modules didn’t disappoint — our Phase I orientation experience was practically a…
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Law School Introduces “Accelerated Graduation Plan” for Future Justices
CHICAGO — In an unprecedented move, University of Chicago Law School Dean Thomas J. Miles announced today that the law school is introducing a new “accelerated graduation plan” for law school students with “strong…
