As clumsy human beings, all of us have tripped over our own feet before. Therefore, it should be no shock when you hit a lamppost or fall over unexpectedly. Ensure that your head…

“I don’t need them, I’m perfectly sufficient on my own,” Tyler said, while drinking a can of Monster Energy Assault™ and eating dry instant ramen.

“This is a good thing for inequality. It’s actually redistributing wealth... We’re like the modern-day Marx and Engels.”

"My vagina is not the Leviathan; stop trying to take up the sword against my clitoris. Trust me, that’s not how you do it. "

“I swear, this is my coat. I remember it got bleach all over it at the last party, but for some reason the tag is removed? Who knows though? I liked the coat…

Before you ask, and I know you’re thinking it already, no this isn’t a sex thing. I mean, it’s about keeping your pants on, so it’s more like the opposite of a sex…

“The requirement not only allows us to admit only the most dedicated students out there – it also will ensure incoming students are better adjusted to the difficulties they will undergo within our…

It’s the quintessential UChicago experience: there’s a scary wizard staring at you from the topmost window of the I-House tower. He leaps out of the window and chases you across the quad on…

As the full moon emerged, economics professor Allen R. Sanderson was seen declaring himself a sociologist on the quad for no explicable reason.

The new frat, officially named “PSI, no, not that one”, will begin recruiting in April in honor of Earth Day.