By John Buterbaugh Feb. 23, 2019 In what could only be described as a “spirited” address to (commie) Vermont Public Radio, Independent Senator Bernie Sanders announced that, after considering it with his wife…

By Jean-Jacques Buterbaugh Dec. 5, 2018 You got home for winter break the other day but you can feel a lingering tension in the air. Your parents seem excited to see you but they…

By Sam Nitkin Dec. 8, 2018 Growing up a young Jewish boy in a predominantly Christian area, I get it. You never had a Christmas tree. Your attempts to get your dad to…

By Delilah Stellavic Dec. 23, 2018 When President Trump vetoed the Congressional budget plan that would have kept the federal government functioning through the end of 2018, he ensured the temporary closure of…

By Emily Feigenbaum Dec. 26, 2018 image via stuckattheairport.com After a long night of delivering Christmas presents to the bright-eyed children of the world, Santa Claus is heading back home to Hyde Park…

By Nico Aldape Dec. 28, 2018 In a ritual as annual as Lollapalooza, other animals’ migrations, or Seasonal Affective Disorder, the University of Chicago’s gargoyles have begun their seasonal trip to hotter locales. Part…

By Harry Weinstein Jan. 16, 2019 This past Sunday, Jeff Bezos’s wife of 25 years, MacKenzie, found something extra when she was checking the couple’s order backlog. “I was just scrolling through our Amazon orders,…

On a scale from 1 to take off those cat ears and jump into bed, how fuckable is your Halloween costume? Fairy Princess: Did you really think that your Prince Charming was going…