We Should Do This Thing, Says Guy Who Just Doesn’t Fucking Get It
On Thursday, Guy Who Just Doesn’t Fucking Get It tweeted, “We should put solar panels on top of every parking lot in America. I can’t believe no one else has ever thought of this.”
Unfortunately, Guy Who Just Doesn’t Fucking Get It failed to consider the existence of the concepts of nuance or logistics. Although his idea seems like a sensible opinion that could theoretically keep cars cool and generate power at the same time, Guy Who Just Doesn’t Fucking Get It failed to realize that would require tearing up the aforementioned parking lots to wire the hypothetical solar panels to the power grid. In addition, parking lots are filled with dumbass drivers who can’t possibly keep their massive cars from eventually crashing into the frail little support beams holding up the panels. These irrefutable facts inform the Dealer’s official stance on solar panels: They are a highly useful invention that has a large role in our future society, but ideally should be built far, far away from dumbasses in large vehicles.
While it is shocking that a bad idea was posted on X (formerly known as Twitter), this is unfortunately not the only instance. Guy Who Just Doesn’t Fucking Get It has written multiple tweets which he clearly did not think through. Another tweet reads, “Why are we so concerned about voter turnout when we can just do online voting? I can’t believe no one else has ever thought of this.”
We asked Guy Who Just Doesn’t Fucking Get It why he doesn’t fucking get it, but he took offense to the question. “What do you mean? I fucking get it. I get everything. My X handle is ‘@i_never_miss.’ If I didn’t fucking get it, I would need to change it.”
In other news, a local guy who seems to get it has for some reason not posted a tweet since…well, he doesn’t have X.
Justin Bilenker
Copy Editor 2023-2025
Emperor 2025-2026
