Review: Wolfschmidt Genuine Vodka

By Matt Montequin

Oct. 25, 2012

You may remember vodka from high school. All vodka is essentially rubbing alcohol, or so you thought on prom night. If you are a premium adult beverage bon vivant like myself, a connoisseur of jungle juice and Natty Light, then prepare for any preconceived notions you have about hard liquor to be shattered with one taste of Wolfschmidt Genuine Vodka.

My encounter with Wolfschmidt began on a visit to Hyde Park’s premium market, Kimbark Beverage Shoppe. My eyes were drawn almost immediately to the ingenious design of the bottle. The plastic encasing the vodka represents a departure from the traditional glass design, signaling a shift from the bottle material of the Mesopotamians towards a classier, more modern composite.

In preparation for consumption, the drinker’s eye will likely be caught by the details of the beverage, prominently and conveniently displayed on its paper label. Right off the bat we know that it is GENUINE. Unlike other vodkas sold in Kimbark and its vicinity, such as Grey Goose and Absolut, the drinker can be certain that Wolfschmidt is a certifiably real, nay, genuine vodka.

While I plan to elaborate more on the “genuine factor” later, it would be unfair to the integrity of the vodka to go any further without recognizing the second-most important word on the plastic bottle: DISTILLED. Recalling the essence of such other liquids as distilled water and distilled vinegar, my expectations were built up by the use of such decorative terminology. Upon asking a sales associate for any possible beverage pairings, I was recommended to either “mix” or “chase” the Wolfschmidt with “cranberry juice, Mistic, or “really anything to get the taste out of your mouth.” As a vodka purist, I politely declined.

When I brought my bottle to the counter, I was unsurprised to discover that the product is a bit pricey. At close to $14.99 for a 1.75L handle, a Wolfschmidt drinker can expect to shell out a few dollars more than he/she would for an equivalently-sized Burnett’s Vodka and roughly over five times what he/she would for two liters of Mountain Dew sans the extra 0.25L.

After checking out of Kimbark and returning to my dorm, I was not only excited but also a bit intimidated by the elitist stature that Wolfschmidt seemed to embody.

The aroma hinted that the beverage would be distilled, suspicions that were confirmed by a very distilled taste upon first shots. A few more swigs and all of the drinker’s doubts of its genuine quality will disappear. There was no doubt that my colleague and I were definitely drinking vodka.

Drinkers can expect to experience a full aftertaste with Wolfschmidt, something noticeably lacking from other vodkas. The alcohol in our sample was so defined and robust that it almost tasted isopropyl-esque. This physique gives Wolfschmidt the manliness its name suggests (from the German wolf, “wolf,” and schmidt, “lumberjack”), outdoing the machismo of a spirit such as Bud Light Lime. The drink carries a very nice kick with it, one that will not go down particularly easily at 3 PM on a Tuesday afternoon. What the kick lacked in smoothness, it made up for in the roughness that drinkers know comes from genuine alcohol.

My one qualm with Wolfschmidt is that it tasted neither as genuine nor as distilled on the way back up. Both qualities seemed lost when mixed with digestive fluids, a warning against fancy drink combos. The aroma, however, remained fully intact for an impressive sinus-burning retention.

For your next serious drinking event, I recommend this genuine Latvian-American take on Russia’s signature beverage. Leave the other stuff for the bar-goers.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 moustache-printed shot glasses

Next issue: Franzia Fine Red Wine