Campus Life

Medieval Studies Major Catches Bubonic Plague for Research Purposes

Third year Thomas Horthenby, a Medieval Studies major, has decided to catch the bubonic plague in order to “know more about what it was really like to live in the Middle Ages.” The plague, which has been ravaging the Medieval Studies department, kills two thirds of the people it infects, but this didn’t deter Horthenby. “I’m built different, my immune system is genuinely just like that,” he stated. “Also, shall I perish, I won’t have to finish my Medieval Studies major.”

We asked Thomas (from a safe distance) what having one of the most destructive diseases in history has taught him about medieval life. He admitted that he “wasn’t really sure yet,” but expressed hope that by the time the disease had run its course, he’d know enough to finish his midterm papers. When asked when he thought that would be, he replied “hopefully after my next blood-letting, which is tomorrow. I really hope that works, because otherwise they might have to amputate my leg, and if they do that, I won’t be fit for the next crusade.” After our interview, Thomas set off towards the quad on foot.

The Dealer is happy to report that Thomas miraculously recovered from the plague on his own, and is now trying to catch leprosy.